Monster
by fake-lis
Summary: MattxMello vampire fic. When Mello feeds off a redheaded teenager, it sparks feelings he thought had long disappeared. Determined not to let it slip away, he takes the boy home.
1. Chapter 1

Mello scowled as he viewed the street, dying of hunger after going so long between meals. His move to New York City had taken up all his time but now was free to stalk around looking for a bite. Pun intended.

He had moved hoping to be less detectable in a more populated city, but this came with the added possibility of crossing paths with more of his kind. He wasn't fond of those like him, preferring to be alone. Living in a medium sized town had prevented him from interacting with other… vampires, but mysterious deaths would only go unpunished for so long before people started pointing fingers at the unsociable neighbor whom nobody knew anything about.

Enough brooding though, he was hungrier than he'd been in about 50 years. He had positioned himself across from a busy street by sitting on a bench at an equally busy park. Directly in front of him was an alleyway that he would take his victim into once he chose them.

The sun setting behind him let him watch the last throngs of people heading home without being watched himself, one of the reasons dusk was his favorite time to hunt. At this time there was still a good amount of people to choose from yet dark enough that no one would notice him herd one of them away. The brightness behind him also made it harder to notice his strange clothing, black leather pants and vest that didn't completely cover his midriff even though it was fall and getting colder every day.

As he watched, several businessmen passed by along with other late workers, but none of them struck his fancy. He wasn't so hungry that he would stop being picky. Just as he though he might have to make do, a young redhead caught his eye. No more than 20, he was completely absorbed in a handheld game and not paying attention to his surroundings. He was also dressed a bit strangely himself in a red and black stripped shirt and tight ribbed jeans.

Mello grinned as he got up and nonchalantly crossed the street to intercept him. Just as the kid passed in front of the alley, Mello made his move, bumping into him. He effectively stopped him in his tracks, noticing green eyes and goggles tangled up his red hair.

"Excuse me." Even as he said it, the blond pushed him again, making him back into the alley entrance. Pocketing his game, the redhead looked up at him, slightly weary and confused. Once they were deeper into the alley where they couldn't be seen, Mello backed him against a wall. Intimidating calmness was the key.

Just like everyone else, he wouldn't meet his eyes, keeping them trained on the ground. He became edgier as Mello placed his hands on either side or him, successfully trapping him.

"Yea, what'dya want?" He mumbled as if afraid of being too loud. It wasn't until the blond brought his lips to the boy's neck that he began to struggle.

"H-hey! What are you…? Get off!" Before he could slip away, Mello wrapped strong arms around his waist and pushed him roughly against the brick, winding him then biting into his neck in one swift, practiced movement. By the time he gained his breath back, Mello's hand covered his mouth to muffle any cries for help. He still kicked and pushed, trying to move the solid body keeping him pinned but soon his resistance started weakening. Blood loss made his brain hazy as he relaxed against his will into Mello's arms.

The blond kept drinking, working his mouth hungrily against the teen's neck until something made him pause. He licked over the bite to stop the bleeding as he noticed his prey's position. Unable to fight anymore, the redhead had simply clung to him has he drank. His arms were wrapped firmly around his neck and legs around his waist as his head lolled on Mello's shoulder. Every few breaths he would let out a small whimper, still half conscious.

Mello hadn't felt the shift in position, too absorbed in his meal, but now he couldn't help but observe how intimate they looked. To anyone passing on the street that could see them, it would look as though they were lovers. He was still incredibly thirsty, but as the redhead's breathe hit the back of his neck he could feel the bloodlust becoming another type of lust, one that he hadn't felt in quite a long time. He gave the teen's neck an experimental kiss, finding he loved the small sound he was given in return.

This was something unexpected, something new, and something Mello wasn't ready to simply walk away from. Living as long as he had, it was rare to find something to occupy his interest or spark his curiosity. There was limited time to mull over the situation and he came to a hasty decision.

Placing one arm to support him and one to cradle the teen's head against his chest, Mello began walking. He took only side streets and back alleys as he headed back to his new apartment. Five minutes from their destination the boy stirred against him and he broke into a steady run until he made it to his building. It was only pure luck that none of the other tenants were out as he rode to the tenth floor, unconscious redhead cradled to his chest.

The entire floor was his because he wanted room for at least some of the numerous items he'd collected over the years. It was mostly musical instruments and books, things that wouldn't look too strange should he get visitors, not that he ever did. The rest of his things were kept in storage or in other homes around the country.

Walking into his bedroom, he lay the redhead down above the sheets and took off his boots and socks as well as laying his goggles on the nightstand. Now all that was left to do was wait. Already though, his heartbeat was becoming stronger. He would be waking up soon and there was no way to predict what he might do.


	2. Chapter 2

Mello was standing in the kitchen when he heard the light padding of feet making their way down the hall. When he heard them stop at the door, he turned around slowly so as not to startle the teen. He saw red hair peaking around the corner before the boy slowly entered the room, shoulders hunched and head down.

Well, well, wasn't this a surprise? He hadn't even tried to run.

For the first time he really took in his new guest's appearance. He was tall and lanky, though still not quite as tall as Mello, and his hair was a distinct shade of red. When Mello curled his finger, motioning for him to come closer, he obediently did so. The blond used his arms to trap the redhead against the counter, much the same way as he had in the alley. He brought their faces closer, forcing their eyes to meet and noting the intense emerald eyes staring back at him.

"What's your name?"

"Matt." He said it quietly, almost a whisper.

"I'm Mello." He smirked as Matt looked down again, nervous and jittery.

"So you're umm… you're…" He couldn't seem to bring himself to say the word, like that might somehow make it more real. He didn't seem terrified, though there was a hint of apprehension judging from his posture.

Instead of answering, Mello brought his lips to his neck and let sharp teeth brush the sensitive flesh there. He smirked as Matt quickly brought his hands between them and tried to push him way, closing his eyes tight and turning his head away. This only gave Mello better access as he kissed the spot instead of biting. Green eyes wide, Matt looked up at him questioningly, pulse pounding.

Mello smirked, leaning to whisper in his ear. "So why didn't you run?" He nibbled on the redhead's sensitive lobe, enjoying the blush he saw when he pulled back.

"I don't have anywhere to go." He glanced down, looking ashamed.

"No family?" Mello was smiling again, lifting his chin to see into emerald eyes. Matt nodded no, confirming the blonde's hopes.

"So, no one's looking for you?" Another nod.

"So if I were to do this…" Mello touched their lips, softly at first, then harder as he pulled the boy closer. Matt didn't push him way but he didn't respond either, simply closing his eyes until Mello broke away. "…No one will stop me?"

"No." Guided by Mello's hands, he wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck.

"Not even you?" Their lips were centimeters apart as he waited for a reply.

His answer came even softer this time. "No, but—" It was all Mello needed to hear as he brought their mouths together for the second time, this time receiving a response in return. His hands slipped down over the curve of Matt's ass, moving his legs to wrap around his waist. The redhead's breathing picked up as Mello tightened his grip, pressing their bodies together. It was where they had left off in the alley, Matt's body curled around his.

When Mello licked at his lips, he obediently opened to let the blonde's tongue explore. He couldn't be coaxed to do the same though, not doing more than moving his mouth in response. Mello only kissed deeper, lifting him up to carry him back into the bedroom.

After being turned, he'd found that bloodlust had almost completely replaced any lust for people's bodies. It was like drinking from them took away their appeal, but with Matt it only made him more attractive. For once it wasn't just the blood he wanted, though the redhead's pulse still tempted the back of his mind, it was Matt himself.

Kicking off his boots, he made his way to the bed, a king-size with black silk sheets. He slid Matt easily onto the middle, not slowing down his kisses. When they next broke for air, the redhead gripped his shoulders to stop him.

"Mello, w-wait." He took a minute to catch his breath but Mello assaulted his mouth again and kissed deeper despite Matt's muffled protests to stop. "Mmmph—wait!"

This time Mello growled before stopping. "Why?"

"I… I need a place to stay…" Mello paused to consider what he'd heard. Was that why he was being so compliant? Because he wanted to trade his body for a place to live? Well Mello certainly didn't mind as he hadn't intended on letting the redhead leave soon anyway.

"Of course." With that he ended the conversation with a chaste kiss before continuing down his neck. Matt flinched slightly but relaxed when Mello only kissed and sucked, never once letting his teeth touch skin. When he slipped his hands under the teen's shirt though, Matt's pulse suddenly shot up and his eyes went wide before he relaxed again. The same thing happened twice more as Mello removed his shirt and kissed up his chest.

Each time Matt would start to relax and close his eyes, before abruptly panicking and snapping his eyes open. It was almost like he was checking to make sure Mello hadn't been replaced by someone else. It finally clicked in Mello's head what was going on and he moved back up to look in Matt's eyes.

"Who was he?"

Matt only looked away, his first show of real defiance. "Who was who?"

Mello turned his head back to face him. "The person who raped you."


	3. Chapter 3

His eyes went wide at being caught before they flitted away again. "Nobody." Well at least he hadn't flat out denied it. If he didn't want to talk about it that was fine, but it made things a bit more complicated. Matt was honestly trying to act nonchalant but obviously whatever had happened wouldn't be easily forgotten.

Mello dipped down to kiss him again, surprising the redhead by not asking questions. Before he picked up where they left off though, he nipped along Matt's ear.

"Say my name," he whispered huskily.

"W-what?" He was blushing hard, making the blond grin before continuing down to his collarbone to suck. Matt tentatively moaned and closed his eyes. He let his hands run though the shoulder length blond hair as he was marked with a large purple bruise.

"Say it…" He moved lower to an exposed nipple to begin sucking there as well. He brushed over it with his tongue first though, encouraging the teen.

"Mmm… M-melloo…" He said it timidly, not really understanding why he'd been asked to. When the blond began to squeeze the other pert bud while nibbling the one in his mouth, he said it a bit louder. He was clearly still nervous though, hesitant to obey.

Mello started down his chest again, leaving a glistening trial that sent shivers up Matt's spine as his breath cooled it. When he reached the hem of the redhead's jeans, Matt balked, pushing his lips away.

"Ng, no!" His eyes were wide as he looked down at his captor. He was having second thoughts, all traces of his former resolve gone.

The blond slowly moved Matt's hands down to the bed, careful not to be rough, before his own rubbed over the redhead's body comfortingly. He kissed along his waistline, never pushing any farther down until the teen had calmed down a bit. Despite biting his lip, Matt let out a small moan, encouraging Mello to slowly undo the fastenings of his jeans and kiss lower. The blond made sure to take his time, after all, he'd lived so long without this satisfaction, there was no need rush.

Matt's breathing picked up as he began to panic, eyes squeezed shut, when Mello's lips touched the very base of his arousal. Even though he could feel the teen's obvious hard-on through the denim, he paused.

"My name Mattie, say it."

"M-mello…" His fear settled down only a fraction as saying Mello's name kept his memories at bay by reminding him who it was above him. He didn't want to say it, knowing that it would egg the blond on but he couldn't stand remembering what he had run away from. He had thought it would be easy submitting to someone new but it only caused him turmoil.

Despite his efforts to keep his voice quiet, it became louder and more disjointed the closer Mello came to wrapping his warm mouth around the aching need between his legs.

Mello stopped cruelly for a minute to strip off his vest, his body already coated with a thin sheen of sweat. Following the black fabric across the room were Matt's jeans and boxers. The blond paused to take in the sight before him, the young redhead lying bare, hands fisting in the sheets. His pale skin was flushed and pink except for the large hickey Mello was pleased to see turning darker at his collar.

"Mello, please…. I-I don't—" Matt tried to sit up and scoot back but Mello placed a hand on his chest, holding him down. When he stopped struggling, the blond placed kisses up his thigh to reward him. When he reached Matt's length, he blew on the tip to tease him before licking along the sensitive underside from base to tip.

As a vampire, his circulatory system worked differently and caused his body temperature to be several degrees colder than a normal human's. In the heat of sex though, he could feel that temperature rising to an almost normal level, his blood pumping in excitement.

Matt let out his loudest sound yet, groaning as Mello finally took his erection fully into his hot mouth. The blonde's tongue stroked up and down as he slowly began to bob his head. At the same time, eager hands reached under the teen and squeezed his ass, causing him to thrust up into the moistness surrounding him. Mello didn't try to stop him, instead reveling in the pleasure he was causing the boy. Unable to stop himself, Matt uncertainly thrusted again, and then again when the blond above him only continued to grope him.

Matt didn't understand how something so dirty could feel so damn _good_. He had never liked _anyone_ touching him, always left feeling used and disgusting. But at the same time, no one had ever made him want them back either. His body was responding now though, almost hurting for more touches and kisses from the sexy blond in tight leather and it made him ashamed. After finally getting way, he'd fled right back into what he'd run away from. Now though he'd been willing and _he_ was the one being pleasured, something he didn't know how to handle.

And then there was the issue of what exactly Mello was. He was something that should only have existed in myth, yet he was real. And now the same person that had used him for food mere hours ago… or was it hours? He realized that he didn't really know how long he'd been there. But this person, this… vampire, had apparently opted to take his snack home for a different sort of fun. And what would happen when Mello was done, would he be drained until he was dead? His mind was too foggy to find answers as his body continued to betray him.

Soon he was crying out Mello's name as his tip repeatedly hit the back of his throat. When Mello tasted his salty precum, he slipped his mouth off the throbbing shaft and kissed the tip. Matt whined at having been denied release, left panting and hot. He wanted so much to get away; to not want the vampire's affections but the shame was overwhelmed by lust and promise of shelter.

Mello couldn't take the tightness of his own leather pants any longer, shedding them before crawling between the redhead's legs and kissing him. Chest to chest, Mello nearly moaned at the heat Matt was giving off. It warmed him like he hadn't been in ages, his fevered body sleek with sweat.

"Do you feel what you're doing to me?" He ground their erections together to emphasize his point. Matt whimpered but wrapped his legs around the blonde's waist submissively and rolled his hips up. He felt like a common whore as his erection throbbed at the contact between them. Mello couldn't wait any more as he pushed three fingers past bruised lips to make them slick with saliva. Without being asked Matt ran his tongue around the digits, making Mello want to put something else in that wet orifice. That would have to wait for later though.

Groaning at that train of thought, Mello reached down between them and guided one finger into Matt's tight opening, quickly followed by another. The redhead whined at the intrusion but didn't look in pain, giving Mello confidence. He glided them in and out, waiting for him to relax before adding the third finger.

"Ha-ahhh…!" He cringed as his body tightened roughly around the intrusion. "Mello, please don't! Pease…" Tears formed in the corners of his eyes even as he began pushing his body father onto the blonde's fingers. "Stop…" It was only a whisper as the tears rolled down his cheeks. Before he had always been blameless, not able to stop what was happening. Now he realized that his wouldn't be rape, despite his words he wanted Mello as much as the blond seemed to want him but what did that make it then?

"Relax." Mello kissed him, swallowing his whimpers as his body became used to the slight pain. When he was properly stretched, the blond spread his own precum over his straining erection before bringing both hands to the square of Matt's back to arch his hips up. The redhead threw his head back and cried out as he slowly took in the blonde's length. His hands left the sheets, instead tangling in Mello's hair as they both caught their breath when he was fully inside. It was strange, to not feel as if he were being torn apart. It still hurt but Mello had thought of him, done something no one else had done when he prepared his entrance. Matt wanted to know why he was being treated like a lover when he was only a meal.

When he began moving, it took Mello a couple of thrusts to find Matt's prostate but he knew he'd hit it when the redhead cried out again, this time in pleasure. He made sure to aim for that spot each time, moaning at how wonderfully tight he was. He let his lips travel over Matt's neck and leave large bruises and marks on any patch of skin in reach. He was claming this human as his own, his and only his. Matt only tilted his chin back in compliance and continued moaning, calling out at particularly hard thrusts. He was lost in the sensation, something he hadn't felt before.

Mello could feel the redhead getting close to release as his already impossibly tight body pressed around him even more. Mello lost it as all of Matt's muscles clenched in orgasm, making him come deep inside of the teen. Likewise, Matt's cum spread between their stomachs as he lost all thought in a blank haze of pleasure. For a moment he forgot all his past torture, caught up is how good Mello was making him feel. Too soon though all that was left was a feeling of being filthy for giving up his body willingly.

Mello's hands were still wrapped around the redhead's waist, pressing them together as they panted in unison. Matt removed his hands from where they were threaded though blond hair, coming back to his senses. Rolling off, Mello lay down beside the boy, spent. To his surprise though, Matt immediately tried to get up, swinging his thin legs off the bed with a wince. Mello grabbed his wrist, making him turn to face him.

"Where do you think you're going?" He growled, exhausted.

Matt looked down meekly before answering. "I have to sleep on the couch right?" He looked almost fearful of staying in the bed, something, Mello supposed, that probably had to do with his past.

Mello only pulled him back into the bed and drew silk covers over him. Drawing his body close, Mello wrapped his arms around the boy and rested his chin on top of his head. Satisfied, he growled again and squeezed the redhead closer to his chest. It was a clear message: _I want you right here with me._ As he basked in the heat of his body and the feel of soft skin he felt himself drifting into sleep. Before he completely passed out though, he could hear sniffling as Matt began to softly cry, trying not to wake him up. He couldn't bring himself to care though, too satisfied and warm.


	4. Chapter 4

Mello woke up slowly, sensing that something was different. As the last vestiges of sleep were chased away, the events of the day before came back. He opened his eyes to red, his face buried in Matt's hair and arms still wound around his waist. Clearheaded for the first time since he first drank from the redhead, Mello wondered what had happened. After becoming a vampire, most emotion had simply left with only the basest sense of them left. He could be happy or unhappy with something, but more complex emotions like jealousy, contentment, disgust, or even lust had been lost to him.

Just as the virus that was vampirism had changed his physical body, he had always assumed that it also had changed his mind as well. Yesterday though… the lust he felt had simply overwhelmed him. He couldn't recall emotions ever being that strong when he was human, but then, that was a long time ago. And why all of a sudden? There wasn't anything different about Matt.

Speaking of the teen, he looked down to see him sleeping peacefully and looking almost serene. Only the tear tracks still present on his face ruined the image. Mello frowned at that, suddenly assaulted with another emotion: guilt. It was stronger though, the same as his lust had been, and like someone had intensified every feeling to the point that he couldn't handle it. Staring at the boy's face, he wondered how he could know Matt's history and still do what he did. Even if the teen had been desperate for a place to stay he shouldn't have taken advantage.

What made it worse was that just thinking about last night was enough to make him hard again. He quickly drove those thoughts out of mind before he was stuck with a problem he didn't want to deal with. Shaking his head to clear it, he got out of bed carefully so as not to disturb Matt and took a shower. A nice cold shower was what he needed to clear his head. When he got out, he realized he was still hungry, his drink from Matt not being enough to satisfy him.

He dressed in his usual black leather and donned a jacket, despite not really needing one until later in the season. In the light of day though, it was good to at least make an attempt to fit in_._ As he walked out of the front door, he briefly wondered if Matt would be there when he got back. Did he want him to be? This train of thought couldn't lead anywhere good so instead he locked the door and left, putting it out of his mind. He really just needed a drink.

When he exited the building the cold air assaulted his lungs in a way that refreshed him. The city air helped clear his head as he walked down the street in search of his next victim. He stalked down the street until he passed a preppy looking blond teenager. She was busy texting, not really paying attention to her surroundings. Mello subtly turned around and began following her as he gauged how to get her alone. When his plan was formed, he walked a bit faster to catch up.

"Excuse me miss." At his voice, she looked up and froze. He turned his most charming look on her and made his blue eyes wide and lost, smiling as she was instantly sucked in. She, of course, thought the smile was friendly.

"I'm afraid I've just moved to New York and I'm a bit lost. Could you direct me toward East March Street?" It was a place just secluded enough that she wouldn't be hesitant to escort him to, but still deserted enough that he could easily corner her. He had taken the time to stake out such places in advance when he had moved. Unsuspecting, she eagerly agreed and began showing him the way.

He listened to her babble about when she had first arrived in the city and got lost herself, pretending to be interested. She even managed to not-so-subtly mention that she was single. Mello was a complete gentleman as he listened, not that it really mattered though, she wouldn't be talking much longer. He thought of the family she must have and friends that would wonder why she didn't text them back anymore. He tried to feel some of the guilt that had attacked him earlier but none came. She was just another meal, one of thousands that he had taken since his turning.

When they reached their destination she stopped, awkwardly wondering if she should give the tall stranger her phone number. Mello only smiled though, wondering when lying had become so easy. "Thank you so much for all of your help Miss."

"Oh! My name's Christina and it was no trouble at all." She was blushing as he grinned at her.

"Mine's Michel. It's so cold, would you like to come in my apartment for a drink before you head back?"

She didn't even hesitate before saying yes, willingly following him down the semi-deserted street. Before she could protest, Mello pulled her into the ally and softly pushed her against the wall. "Christine, you're so charming and… and I was wondering if I could kiss you…"

She was instantly blushing as he brought their faces closer. He smirked when she shut her eyes and he kissed her softly. Waiting until she placed her hands around him, Mello moved down to her neck. He was waiting for any sign of lust, but like the guilt, it never came. Instead he bit into her soft skin and began to suck, covering her mouth when she began to finally panic. It didn't take long for the petite blond to pass out and even less time for her heart to stop beating altogether.

Finished and full, Mello dropped her and whipped his mouth. He had sealed the wound to avoid suspicion but now it was time to get home. He found himself anxious to see if Matt was still there or not. Anxious… another emotion. Mello began to wonder why this was happing.

Backtracking quickly, he made his way back to the apartment building and up to his room. He didn't really know how to feel as he opened the door. Nervous? Mello held his breath as he entered, glancing around for signs of Matt. Would he have run? It was then that Mello noticed how warm the place was.

_Guess not… _


	5. Chapter 5

Matt woke up alone, confused as to where he was. As he lay in the large bed though, his soreness reminded him what had happened. He almost cried, but his tears had been spent the night before. Instead he eased himself up and stretched until he could move normally without pain. It only took a minute to find his jeans in a heap and slip them on. Looking around, he noticed that Mello was nowhere in sight. Maybe the kitchen again? But as he softly tiptoed down the hall he didn't see the blond vampire anywhere.

"Mello?" He called out softly at first, then a little louder when there wasn't an answer. Apparently Mello had stepped out, leaving him on his own. The redhead walked to the door uncertainly and turned the deadbolt, finding that he could easily open the door and leave. Peeking into the hallway, he considered running for it. After all, it wasn't like he had anything to carry with him.

He dismissed the thought though, going back inside and relocking the door. He'd already let Mello have him and what's worse, he'd enjoyed it. Matt figured he had nothing more to lose and with nowhere to stay it only made sense to stick around. Mello hadn't killed him… yet. He shook his head, trying to escape the thought that he was only being saved for later and went back to the bedroom. Finding his shirt, he went into the bathroom and quickly stripped, gasping as he glimpsed his reflection. In the mirror he could see the purple bruises lining his collarbone, bites and hickys traveling up the left side of his neck.

He blushed and turned away quickly, stepping into the shower to clean himself off. It wasn't until the hot water hit his skin that he realized how cold he had been. Seriously, was it 40 degrees in the apartment? When he got out he debated searching the blonde's closet but he wasn't sure how well that would go over. Besides, he doubted that the blond would have anything besides tight leather. Instead, he put on his own clothes. As he slipped on his jeans, his DS fell out of the pocket and onto the floor. He'd almost forgotten about it after everything but now it felt like finding an old friend.

Before settling down to play though, Matt found the thermostat and turned the heat on. He hoped Mello wouldn't mind, but he was seriously freezing after his shower. Satisfied that the apartment would soon be warm, he plopped down on the couch and switched on his game. Somehow they always made him feel better, transporting him to another place where he could forget his problems.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed when he heard Mello come home. Matt was to engrossed in his game to look up though. He had one more boss to beat before he could quit.

Mello stood still in the living room doorway and simply stared at the shock of red hair he could see over the top of the couch. Matt had stayed and the thought almost made him smile. It appeared he was to busy playing the same game Mello had first seen him with to look up. Deciding to wait, the blond leaned on the back of the couch and watched as the redhead made his way skillfully through the level.

When he was finished Matt turned off the game and glanced up, goggles covering his eyes. "I um… turned on the heat."

Mello only smiled and nodded. "I noticed, I suppose I'll have to remember to keep it on with you here."

He looked mildly surprised and relieved at that statement. He had wondered what Mello would do with him but it looked like he would be allowed to stay and not killed.

"Why?" The question had left his mouth before he could take it back. Matt's eyes widened behind the orange lenses, scared that the blond might rethink his decision. He only gave a small half smile before reaching down to pull the redhead's goggles down around his neck.

"Why what?"

"Um, why are you letting me stay?" He mumbled it, sorry he'd brought it up, but not breaking eye contact.

"Because, no one's made me want to do this…" Mello leaned over the couch back to kiss him upside down, hands supporting him on either side of Matt's head. He broke away after only a minute. "… in a long time." It struck a chord in the redhead as he hadn't wanted to kiss anyone _ever_. Except Mello.

Matt wasn't sure if it was how the blond had been gentle or how he bothered to pleasure him but he was the first to do either. After all he'd escaped, he'd found someone who at least halfway cared about his well-being and in the most unlikely place. Or it could all be fake, his mind trying to fabricate a fantasy for him. Either way, he wanted to stay for as long as possible.

He leaned forward, Mello's lips still close to his, and kissed him again. He knew he had surprised the blond as his hands wound through his hair. He was quick to respond though, breaking into a large grin as the deepened the kiss. Matt's heart was beating so hard he wondered if it might pound out of his chest to know his kisses made Mello so happy.

The blond broke away and hopped over the couch, wanting to be able to use his hands. Matt let himself be pulled onto the vampire's lap and wrapped his arms around his neck. The redhead moaned at feeling strong arms winding themselves around his waist protectively. It was different, to be held, but his mind didn't seem to want to let him enjoy it. Maybe it was just Mello's way of getting him to sleep with him without struggling, acting sweet to make him like it. He tried to block those thoughts out, wanting to believe it wasn't true.

He just wanted to forget what had happened, to start over. He hoped Mello might give him that chance.


	6. Chapter 6

Mello noticed how Matt looked up at him hopefully. "Why?"

He knew what the redhead was talking about but he only smiled and feigned innocence. Wanting to see his eyes, he reached to pull the goggles off, basking in how rich the green was. Matt's eyes stunned him, so vivid and full of life. He wanted to kiss each eyelid, kiss every inch of him really and the thought slightly scared him. It was a romantic thought with no lust behind it, just as powerful as his other new emotions.

"Why what?" He tried to take his mind off that and focus on Matt instead.

"Um, why are you letting me stay?" It was a good question, and one Mello supposed would have to come up some time. After all, Matt knew that he was a vampire and was probably wondering why he hadn't been eaten yet. He decided to be honest.

"Because, no one's made me want to do this…" With that, he planted his hands on the couch back and leaned over, capturing the boy's lips. He wanted so much to deepen it, see how far he could go but he needed to finish his sentence. "…in a long time."

Matt only stared at him as he seemed to be thinking it over, considering that response. It took the blond completely by surprise when the redhead leaned forward to kiss him of his own accord. Well this was new… He didn't question it and instead licked Matt's lip to ask for entrance. He grinned when he was able to deepen the kiss, loving the teen's hands tangling in his hair.

Hard as it was, he broke the kiss to hop over onto the cushions to pull Matt into his lap. He didn't struggle, instead pressing closer and moaning when Mello's arms wrapped around his waist. The blonde's tongue rubbed against the teen's before he heard Matt's stomach growl. He chuckled and pulled away to see the boy's face blushing almost as red as his hair.

"Hungry?" He licked the gamer's neck as he asked, earning a shiver and a small nod. "What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"Y-yes."

He smiled and set Matt onto the couch next to him. "What would you like?" He strode into the kitchen with the teen following close behind.

"Umm, anything is good." He kept his eyes on the floor, only looking up through his lashes while he spoke. Mello patted a stool at the counter.

"Sit and I'll fix you an omelet." When the redhead nodded, he walked to the fridge and pulled out everything he would need. He didn't really eat much for obvious reasons but he still knew how to cook for when he started craving different foods. He also found it slightly relaxing to do something that he had done as a human.

He kept it simple, only adding cheese before putting it on a plate and handing it to Matt along with a fork. He began to eat ravenously at once, wolfing down the egg as Mello sat down next to him. When he wasn't so hungry he slowed down and noticed the vampire watching him eat.

"Ah, you don't want one?" His voice was timid, afraid of offending the blond.

Mello only shook his head. "No, I don't eat a lot."

Encouraged, he spoke up a little. "A lot? So um… do you eat? Normal food I mean…"

"Sometimes. I don't get anything out of it, but I still like to taste it occasionally." He pulled the redhead into his lap, his back to Mello's front, when he was done eating the omelet. When he nuzzled the teen's neck, but the teen's heart rate sped up rapidly though he was trying to remain calm. "Matt… relax, I ate this morning."

"Did you… I mean, is he…?"

"Dead?"

The redhead nodded yes and bit his lip.

"Yes, _she_ died. They all do…" Mello turned him around in his lap and watched Matt's face for a reaction. At first he was quiet, eyes looking at anything but the blond. Finally he glanced up.

"_I_ didn't."

Mello could only stare: he was right. "No… you didn't." Suddenly he could feel the lust welling up again and he was kissing the young gamer forcefully. He was pulling the redhead closer, running cold hands up his shirt stroke and touch. Matt was overwhelmed, not expecting the actions as he cried out, only making it easier for the vampire to slip his tongue in. When he got over his initial shock he wrapped his arms around Mello's neck, still surprised by the onslaught of attention.

The blonde's hands were all over him, groping and squeezing as his lips followed suit. Mat only whimpered and shut his eyes, trying to stay calm. Mello could see he was uncomfortable but the redhead was doing nothing to stop him. He wondered why the gamer wasn't struggling even as his pulse became faster and more irregular. He growled and experimentally bit the teen's ear just hard enough not to draw blood, making him cry out though he tried to hide it by biting his lip.

Mello could feel something new welling up, dangerous and hot. Anger was sweeping through his mind, too strong to ignore since though he wasn't in control of his emotions. The vampire slowly became furious that Matt wouldn't stop him, that he would give himself up so easily, and that he wouldn't defend himself. There was so much rage coursing into him that he hadn't even noticed himself pick Matt up and drop him on the bed, quickly stripping his shirt off. His own vest followed before he sat up and pulled the redhead back into his lap.

"Matt," he began whispering huskily in the boy's ear. "What if I fuck you so hard I make you scream?" He drew out the last word as he licked along the shell of his ear.

Tears slowly escaped the corners of his eyes as he answered through barley-contained sobs. "Mello, I-I want you to." As if to prove he wasn't lying, the gamer reached down and began to undo his captor's pants, whimpering when his hand wrapped around Mello's firm erection. He tentatively began rubbing, squeezing a little tighter when the blond moaned in his ear.

Mello was only more infuriated but he couldn't ignore the also present lust as he began pulling at the waist of the redhead's pants. He was too caught up in the violent urges possessing his mind to stop himself from roughly pushing the teen down as he tugged off the jeans. He guided Matt's hands to his own waistline, the redhead quickly obeying the silent command to take them off. The blond kicked them to the end of the bed and wrapped the boy's legs around his waist to position himself before leaning over him.

Ever so slowly he began pushing him the tip of his hardened member inside Matt's unprepared entrance. The Vampire was nose to nose with him as he made the redhead open his eyes to meet his cold gaze.

"Is this what you want?"

Matt was stiffened in pain but he nodded anyway and Mello harshly trust into him. He screamed as he felt his body tearing, the sound muffled in the blonde's neck where he had buried his face. His arms were wrapped firmly around Mello's chest and his nails dug into his shoulder blades. Breath lost, he felt like he'd been punched in the gut but the pain only intensified as Mello wasted no time in pulling fully out and impaling him again.

Matt only continued to cry out, though he never asked the blond to stop. Tears were flowing freely as the vampire kept up his fast pace. Mello's breath was ragged in his ear, interrupted by husky moans. When he felt the blond cum hard inside of him he let out one last cry because of the salty stinging on his wounds.

Mello slowly felt the haze of emotion leaving as he caught his breath. Slowly his eyes widened as he listened to Matt's whines of pain and felt him tense under him when he tried to move.

"Oh, Mello! W-wait, I just… I want to feel you inside me more." He kept his face hidden from sight but his voice still gave him away. Mello could hear the lie and knew it was because pulling out would only put him in more pain. He wrapped his arms under the redhead, one hand carefully keeping them pressed together so that he wouldn't cause any more harm. With the teen secure in his arms, he rolled on his side and held him as guilt crept into his mind.

He had felt so much rage that Matt would simply give himself up but there was no justification for what he had done, especially knowing what the redhead had already been through. He felt his own tears begin to form as he held the small body closer to him. Matt only wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck. He had raped the boy for God's sake! He couldn't hold back the sobs and buried his face in soft rust colored hair.

"Mello?" The gamer nuzzled his neck, trying to see his face. A teardrop hit his cheek, trailing down his puzzled face. Mello only began to sob all out, ashamed.

"Matt, how could…? I just… I'm so sorry." He repeated the last line even as the teen kissed his neck, comforting him. It only made him hold tighter to the redhead, wondering how he could still pretend it was what he had wanted. Matt still comforted him and told him it was ok, generic responses in a hollow voice.

Despite his protests, Mello placed a hand on the teen's hip and slowly eased himself out, wincing at Matt's cry. He shouldn't have gotten angry, he knew that. Matt had only been trying to please him, trying to secure a place in his home, but he was sickened by how far he had let it go.

He drifted off to sleep with thoughts of his actions still eating away at his mind, Matt following soon after. Both were exhausted but Mello fell into a fitful sleep, grumbling and twitching.


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as he was sure Mello was asleep, Matt began his escape. His body hurt so much he wasn't sure if he would be able to walk but he needed to get away. If anything, he just needed to clear his head. The blond had seemed genuinely remorseful, almost as if he were two different people. How could he be so gentle one night and then so angry the next?

He hoped that he could figure out what to do before the Mello woke up. He didn't know if vampires really had any supernatural power as books portrayed, but he hadn't seen evidence of any so far. Hopefully the blond vampire wouldn't be able to find him if he decided to leave.

He slipped one arm off his waist and pulled a pillow over to replace him. As soon as he was free he pulled on some clothes, just jeans and a shirt that he supposed Mello had pulled out for him later. They were black of course, the only things that he seemed to wear. Now all he needed was some change.

He looked around, wondering where any would be. A quick sweep of the bedroom didn't turn up any and the same was true for the kitchen. On a hunch he went into the bathroom to check and found some lying in a small glass bowl. Obviously it was where Mello emptied the contents of his pockets and it seemed there would be plenty of coins. He grabbed a handful and rushed to the door, already having wasted too much time.

He was able to slip silently out, walking to the elevator and trying not to look suspicious. It was late enough though that there weren't many people out and about, making it easier to stay calm. Once elevator ride later and he was at the entrance to the apartment building, free to walk outside. He cursed under his breath when he saw the weather though, a thunderstorm raging and lashing the streets with rain.

He didn't let it deter him, already coming to far. Matt ran down the street, being soaked in the downpour. He barely noticed the cold though as he continued to sprint to the nearest phone booth to get out of the rain. Two blocks down he found one, empty due to the weather. As he looked at the phone an idea came to him. There was someone he desperately needed to call but he wondered what she would say...

He sighed and pulled out the change he'd stolen. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, nervous and jittery. What if she'd changed numbers or wasn't even in New York anymore? But he had to try.

He picked up the receiver and inserted his money. Matt's fingers shook as he dialed the number he'd memorized years ago but never used. Seven rings later he was about to give up when a slurred voice answered the phone.

"'Ello?"

"Mom? It's me, Matt…"


	8. Chapter 8

He winced at the string of profanities that being yelled over the phone. She was obviously drunk, high, or both.

"Momma, please listen." She didn't let him get a word in edgewise, screaming in rage. Why had he thought this would be a good idea? His biological mother didn't love him, he'd been warned of that. That's why he'd never told anyone about her, preferring people think he was an orphan than an unwanted child. There was less pity in having a dead mother than there was in being abandoned by her.

He couldn't help when the tears came, not even bothering to wipe them away since there was no one around. He had hoped that maybe she would feel differently; ask him to stay with her. He could even get a job to support her or something. He slowly hung up the phone, cutting himself off from the only family he had.

He wondered if things would have turned out differently if people had known; if they knew that he wasn't really his parents' son; that his real mother was a whore paid to give birth to him because his adopted mother was sterile. It had all been illegal though, so no one could even suspect or he might be taken away.

It looked like she wouldn't be taking him now after all these years. Alone in the booth he leaned against the glass and let the tears come. He stayed like that for several long minutes, trying to calm down before leaving to return to the apartment.

With a little luck, he could make it back before he was missed. He didn't want to return but he reminded himself that he'd survived this treatment before and the alternative was the hopeless pit of homelessness and hunger, something he wasn't eager to turn back to having dealt with it for the past week. Just as he turned to leave, he heard the door slide open. Matt wiped at his tears, trying to quickly hide them.

"Oh, excuse me I—" He stopped when he saw who was standing in front of him.

"M-mello!" The blond vampire was only staring at him, expression unreadable. "Mello?" He whispered it meekly, hoping that he wouldn't be mad. His wish wasn't granted though as he found himself pinned harshly into the glass behind him. He could only whimper as Mello clenched his wrists, breathing heavily in his ear.

"Who said you could leave?" His voice was low and quiet, even more intimidating than if he had been yelling. Matt shivered from the cold wet body pressed against his.

"No one! I was going to come back, I just…" He stopped as Mello trailed his lips down to his neck. The blond licked along his jugular, breathing still heavy. He wasn't acting right, as if he were possessed and the thought scared the redhead more than he would have thought possible. He didn't understand Mello fully but he could tell that this was out of character. Just like before, he was no longer the gentle person Matt had first met. He remained still, not wanting to upset the blond further, until he felt sharp canines pressed against the tender flesh above his collar bone.

"Wait! Please—" His protests did nothing as Mello bit down violently, breaking the skin and begging to suck. Matt screamed in pain before biting his lip; the last thing he wanted was to be found like this. He supposed in a sort of sick way that he was protecting Mello, the only person he had now.

He realized that at the rate Mello was drinking it wouldn't be long until he passed out. He tried to speak while he could, mind working to get the words out.

"Mello please… let me come home with you. I won't leave again, I promise… Please just let me c-come home… Ng." Mello bit down harder to make the blood flow faster as Matt pleaded.

"I won't ever leave." He was whispering in the blonde's ear now, to tired to even speak properly. He noticed the vampire slow down as he pleaded. Matt felt hope rising; maybe Mello would snap out of it. "Pease t-take me home with you… you can do whatever you want." His attacker was now only lapping at his neck, but the redhead didn't notice. He was more interested in how Mello's body was now slightly moving against his. Though his mind was foggy, he wondered if maybe lust helped him to gain control over his thirst.

He knew he might regret it but Matt decided if he wanted a home to stay in, he needed to calm Mello down. "Mello, mmnnn…" he moaned into the blonde's ear and rubbed their hips together as much as he could in his weak state. "Let's go home and… ah! you can do whatever you want to me…" He could feel Mello licking at his neck, sealing up the wound. He really wished he had never left; never fled the safety of Mello' apartment for something so futile. Now he had to worry if the blond would even take him back. He wasn't sure what kind of life living with Mello would be but it was all he had for now.

"Mello? Bring me home and fuck me. Please, I want you inside me." It didn't seem so bad anymore, to have sex with Mello. At least he might be bothered to think of him sometimes and the accommodations were certainly better than his last home.

Mello moaned and released his wrists, instead running his hands up and down the redhead's sides. No longer being held up, Matt almost collapsed but was caught in the vampire's arms.

"Matt?" The blond looked down at him, trying to piece together what he had been doing.

"M-mell…o?" The redhead's speech was disjointed and he couldn't stand. "take m-me… ho-me."


	9. Chapter 9

Again. He'd bitten him again. Mello only stared down at the redhead as he labored to breath. If Matt hadn't found a way to stop him he could have… would have… The teen would be dead in his arms now. He pulled Matt closer, burying his face in his fiery red hair. He worked to hide the sobs when they came, wracking his chest.

"Ok, it's ok… Let's go." He pulled his jacket off and wrapped it around the Matt before hoisting him onto his back. If the redhead stayed cold and wet along with his severe blood loss Mello wasn't sure what would happen. Concealed by the rain, he let his tears fall though he was afraid if he let himself break down he might not be able to carry the teen back. He cursed the sudden onset of emotions as he tried to make sense of them.

When they reached the apartment, Mello wasted no time in bringing Matt to the bedroom and stripping him of his soaking clothes. He noticed it was the pair he had pulled out for the redhead earlier I the evening, before he had… He shook his head, trying to keep his mind from finishing that train of thought. Was that why the boy had run away? Most likely. But who had he been calling and why was he crying in the phone booth?

Mello remembered waking up to cold sheets with no warm body beside him and instantly jumping awake. As he searched without finding the teen, he had become more and more agitated. He had tried to tell himself that it didn't matter, that he wasn't holding the boy hostage. Matt was free to go… but of course that wasn't true. He desperately wanted the gamer to stay with him and anger had consumed him before he could stop it.

The vampire thought about the pattern. Anger appeared to lead to extreme thirst while lust led him out of it. Either way it seemed, Matt ended up hurt. He reminded himself that he didn't have time to dwell on it, right now his first priority was getting Matt warmed up. His body heat wouldn't do anything for him so the next best option was probably a bath. Slipping out of his own clothes, he carried the redhead to the bathroom and filled the tub before stepping in and arranging the unconscious boy in his lap.

The steaming water felt good on his own freezing body and he felt the chill that had settled deep in his muscles slowly being erased. He wondered when Matt would wake up but until then he poured some soap on a rag and began slowly working it over his body. When he was almost done he felt the teen begin to stir.

Setting the rag down, Mello wrapped his arms around the gamer's waist and settled his chin on his shoulder. He was nervous what Matt would do or say. Obviously he would hate him, be scared and furious after seeing the pattern Mello himself had noticed only minutes before.

"Ng, ah…." The redhead shivered and stretched, slowly opening his eyes. "Mello?"

The blond only shut his eyes and nuzzled into the teen's neck. "Yes?"

He waited for anger, a rebuttal, anything. Instead, Matt leaned his head back and brought his hands to rest on Mello's.

"Why did you take me home with you that first time?" The question surprised him, making him wonder what the redhead was thinking.

"It's complicated, why don't we get out first?" His lips brushed the skin of Matt's neck as he spoke and he couldn't help but noticed the teen's slight blush. The water was getting cold though and he quickly fetched them both a towel. When they were both dry and dressed, Matt in a pair of his boxers and a too big t-shirt, Mello led him to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, motioning for the redhead to do the same. He wasn't sure how to begin but he owed the teen an explanation for everything he had done.

"Matt…. What do you think a vampire is?"

The gamer shrugged and pulled his knees up to his chest. "I guess just what I've read in books and seen in movies."

The blond had assumed so. "It's a bit different than that. Vampirism is a disease that is contractible only through venom that isn't dissimilar to that of a snake. The virus doesn't kill you, I'm not undead. It just…. Changes you. It changes how your heart and circulatory system works, among other things."

Matt nodded in understanding. "Your heart beats slower and you're colder than me."

"Yes, and part of the change is that I now live off human blood. It's the only way to get all the nutrition I need, normal food won't give me anything but taste." He put his head in his hands as he continued. "There's one other thing that happens…. I stopped feeling. I never felt guilty or lonely or… anything once I was infected. I thought that the virus must just change the way the brain works as well as the body."

He finally stopped to look up at Matt. The boy was starting raptly at him, trying to process everything. "But… I thought that…" He was blushing and looking down now, trying to hide his obvious disappointment.

Mello quickly lifted his chin and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "I feel now. Only it's more intense than anything I've ever felt. It consumes me: rage, lust, happiness… I feel it all so strongly that I can't control it." He tried to make the redhead see what he was saying.

"Only for you though."


	10. Chapter 10

Matt's mind reeled as he thought about everything Mello had done. He showed no remorse for killing someone earlier that day but had sobbed after he… Matt tried not to think about it. It all made sense though: Mello's rapid mood swings and violent actions. But even though he might understand it… he wondered if he should stay knowing that it might happen again, no matter how sorry the blond vampire was.

"Can you control it?" He needed to know before he did anything.

Mello remained silent and looked down. "It will never happen again, I swear it." Matt understood what he was referring to. "I-I… I'll learn now to deal with it but-" He motioned for the redhead to come to him. Hesitantly, Matt obeyed, letting himself me wrapped up in Mello's arms.

"Please stay Matt. Don't leave me alone…"

Matt could only stare up at him as tears rolled down his cheeks. Slowly, he bent down to softly steal a kiss, and then another. He didn't take it farther though, scared of loosing the redhead in his arms. Fear too was intensified, hurting his almost physically when he thought of Matt leaving him forever. When he didn't answer, the blond bowed his head, trying to hide silent sobs until he felt soft hands against his cheeks. Matt tilted his face up for a kiss that slowly became more passionate.

Matt closed his eyes and moaned, intentionally letting Mello in. The blond lay him down on the sheets before molding himself around the gamer's body as they picked up where they left off. He didn't push it past kissing, instead listening to Matt's peaceful breathing as he eventually fell asleep. He had all he wanted and the happiness flooding though him seemed almost unreal.

One thing was for sure, he would have to gain control of his runaway emotions soon before he accidentally hurt Matt again. There had to be some way to tone them down to a normal, or human, level. As he was dozing he wondered if any other vampire had experienced what he was going though, and if so how could he find and contact them? There was always the Covenant Hall. A library of sorts for recording the history of the virus and built in hopes of someday finding a cure. Surely someone there could help him.

And it was here in New York City too. Relocated to the western world after the original was burned down in London, he could go and be back in one day. Two days tops. Matt would be ok until he got back surely… there was no way he could take him along.

It was decided then, in a few days he would see if the Covenant Hall had any information to give him about what was happening. Hopefully he could learn to control what was happening so that Matt would be safe. Otherwise…

Mello stopped his train of thought there. There were no alternatives to consider. Instead, he let himself fall asleep, warm and happy with Matt beside him.


	11. Chapter 11

"Matt." Mello gently shook the teen until he was awake. The redhead sat up, still groggy with sleep. Staying up and sleeping at odd hours was taking its toll on him but he would have the chance to sleep better while the blond was gone.

"I'm going away for a little bit."

At that Matt quickly became alert, staring at him with wide eyes. He obviously had a million questions but settled for one. "How long?"

"Just one night, I'll be back by tomorrow afternoon."

He looked as though there were another question he wanted to ask but was nervous. Mello wished they were closer, that Matt wouldn't be afraid to ask anything or feel the need to be timid around him. He already felt as though Matt were the most important thing in his life but he presumed it was only because of his intense emotional reactions. He knew that the teen didn't feel the same way, still regarding him as a partial stranger. Mello was pleased though, when the gamer decided to ask his question.

"Why…? Um, why are you going to….. wherever?"

"I'm going to try and find out more about what's happening and maybe even meet a vampire who's gone through the same thing. I can't be the first one so I'm sure there's some way to control my emotions. I'll tell you the details when I get back ok?"

It was then that Matt noticed he was fully dressed. "You're leaving right now?"

"Yes, like I said, I want to be back in two days tops."

The redhead nodded and got out of bed to accompany him to the door. As Mello turned to give a final goodbye, he was surprised by a kiss. Matt wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck as he stood on tiptoe to reach his lips. He responded instantly, gripping his thin waist to pull him closer. Soon the gamer was against the wall with on of the vampire's arms around his middle and one propping them up beside his head.

Matt couldn't help it… he had seen Mello leaving and been terrified. What if he didn't come back? He had just found someone to take care of him. No, that _wanted_ to take care of him. Would he be taken away so soon? They hadn't known each other long, but Mello's overreacting emotions had clearly endeared himself to the blond. What if he found a 'cure' while he was away? Everything Mello was feeling would disappear and Matt would be alone again, or worse used as a meal by the very person he had opened up to. The small hope that he could have a safe home here if Mello's journey was successful was quickly crushed by his fears.

But maybe… if he could show Mello what he had to offer… That was why he had kissed him without thinking. All that he had was his body but he hoped Mello would accept; understand what it meant. He wanted the bond to know that he wanted to stay, that he wasn't too fragile to… have sex whenever the vampire wanted. Then surly Mello would keep him, if he knew that he had Matt as all but his willing slave to return to.

Their kiss became even more heated as the blonde's passion spilled over. Matt panted as they broke a way, a small trail of saliva connecting them. "Nn, Mello? Won't you… take me? Before you go?"

He tried to be seductive as possible, bringing their faces close but not touching. His wide eyes fluttered up innocently as he ran his hands down Mello's chest.

Mello could hardly believe what he was hearing, wondering how only a few words could turn him on so much. He was all over the redhead again, kissing and feeling him, loving the sounds he made. When his hand traveled over the front Matt's jeans, the teen slowly spread his legs so his hand could move farther back.

"That's where I want you to- to put it in me."

He was so hard it was difficult to think strait but he realized that if he didn't leave right then he wouldn't have the will power to go at all. The second he entered that hot passage he so longed to fill, he would be unable to desert the redhead.

"M-matt… I have to go." He let himself be pulled into a kiss but each one made it harder to protest. "Ng, Matt! If I do this… I won't want to leave you. I promise I'll be back soon."

The redhead looked up shyly. "You don't- don't want too…?"

"I do! So much it hurts." Mello looked down pleadingly.

Matt nodded in understanding. "Then I'll be waiting here for you."

Mello kissed him one more time before dashing out the door. Outside, he slumped against the hall wall, panting heavily. He wanted so badly to go back inside and fuck his willing tenant senseless. A voice whispered in his head that it wasn't to late…

He reached for the doorknob. Just a little while and he'd leave for sure. But he knew that wasn't true. Instead, he walked to the elevator as he calmed himself down. He'd be back soon, he just had to keep the anticipation of what was waiting at bay.


	12. Chapter 12

Once out onto the street, Mello began the long walk to the heart of New York City. Covenant Hall was located underneath a prominent building there, where it remained hidden from the outside world. The busy location made it easy for any vampires visiting to go in and out unnoticed unlike if it were in a more deserted site.

The trip was uneventful, his body bothered by neither the cold nor exhaustion. When he arrived in front of the towering skyscraper he began to wonder how to find the entrance. Deciding that standing outside wouldn't help him, he strode in and looked for a sign that might mean something to a vampire. When there wasn't any, the blond began to wonder if the trip had been in vain. That is, until he saw one of the receptionists.

Though no different in physical appearance than humans, vampires could still recognize one of their own. Mello supposed it was akin to a sixth sense but either way he could tell that the brunette behind the welcome desk wasn't human. Walking up to the counter, he smiled and waited for her to be off the phone.

"Can I help you?" She was professional her smile was so warm, she could have fooled Mello himself into thinking she had feelings if he didn't know better.

For the benefit of her coworker, he asked his question in a way that wouldn't raise suspicion. "Yes, I think I might have gotten turned around. Can you tell me where to find the library?"

She nodded in understanding and began to rattle off directions to the nearest one as she copied them on a piece of paper. Handing it over, Mello saw that the slip told him everything he needed to know.

"Thank you very much." He nodded and turned to the left, heading towards the elevator she had indicated. It was for 'employees only,' though he assumed that was to keep unwanted people from using it. One small prick of his finger to affirm his identity and he felt himself descending.

Stepping out into an eerily similar lobby to the one he had just come from, he walked across the marble floor to the receptionist's desk. To his left was a large glass wall with doors leading to the main library. There were several vampires browsing through the selection or reading, generally going about their business and looking very human except that here they didn't have to pretend to smile.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if there was any way I could speak to an overseer of the library?" Overseers were appointed by their predecessor whenever he or she was ready to retire from the position and generally ran the different departments of Covenant Hall. Mello wasn't sure if they would grant private audiences, but it would be more effective than wandering the great stacks of books until he found something useful.

"Just a moment please." The receptionist seemed to be…. _nice_ for a vampire as she even gave a slight smile. Normally a lack of emotions led to them being rude or cold towards their own kind when they didn't have to fake feelings.

Mello waited for her to pull out a small book and begin flipping though it. She smiled again as she found what she was looking for. "Normally you should make an appointment before seeing anyone, but the library overseer isn't busy today so I'm sure he won't mind speaking to you."

"Thank you very much." She gave him a card with the number to call should he need another appointment and directed him to the office he needed. As he looked over his shoulder, he wondered if she had emotion as well…

Stopping in front of room 1313, he knocked and waited until he heard a reply to please come in. Inside, a lanky man with messy raven hair and deep circles under his eyes sat waiting in a behind his desk. Or perhaps sitting wasn't the best word. He had both knees pulled up to his chest as he slowly dropped sugar cubes into his tea.

"I am L, overseer of the library, how can I help you?"


	13. Chapter 13

Mello quietly closed the door behind him and waited until he was seated across from the odd looking man before speaking. Introducing himself, he decided to get strait to the point.

"Name's Mello and I'm looking for information," L obviously wanted to interrupt so he sped on. "I realize that there is a whole library at my disposal but I would much rather speak to someone in person about the topic which is why I wanted to meet with you."

Pacified, L nodded in understanding before sipping his tea, or syrup rather.

"I would be happy to help you but I'm afraid that without knowing the nature of your problem, I will not be able to suggest an appropriate candidate for you to speak with."

Mello added his overly formal language to the growing list of quarks L seemed to possess but ignored it. Now that it came down to saying it, he was nervous about what L's reaction would be.

"Erm, recently I've met someone and…. I would like them to live with me but…" He wasn't sure how to go on.

"Ah, I see." L stood and padded to the window, allowing Mello to see what he was wearing. For a man of his position, he certainly didn't dress the part, clad only in baggy jeans and white t-shirt. He was glad that he seemed to understand.

"Even though we may not love another vampire, it is perfectly normal to want company at times, and many seek out a partner…"

"What…? Oh no I…" Mello stuttered as he realized that he had been misunderstood. "It's a bit more than that."

"Go on."

Mello rushed the next sentence. "Well this someone is a human teen and… he's different." He wasn't sure how to articulate everything without sounding crazy. _"I've already fed from him without killing him and had sex with him and he's made me __**feel**__ again."_ There just wasn't any way of saying that correctly.

"A human?" He seemed deep in thought. Meanwhile, Mello felt like a child wondering if something he had done was wrong or not. The suspense was killing him, further proof that he wasn't normal anymore. At least, not for a vampire.

"My next question may seem a little strange Mello but…" He pulled his gaze from the window to look at the blond instead. "Have you been- _feeling_ since you met him?"

Mello nearly sighed in relief. Obviously this had happened before. "Yes!" He knew he sounded overly excided but the thought was reassuring.

The raven-haired man only nodded. "I see. I'm afraid then, that there may not be any way I can help you other than to keep what you have told me between us."

All of Mello's hopes crashed around him. "Why?"

"In answer to your unspoken but obvious question, you are not the first. But I'm afraid that if others knew…" He let his sentence hang ominously and the blond didn't bother asking what would happen.

"Then thank you, I'll take my leave." He stood up to go.

"Please stay, there is more I wish to explain. You should be prepared."

"Prepared for what?"

Instead of answering, L escorted him to the door. "Let's walk hm? I'm out of snacks…" He began walking deeper into the library, not looking behind him to see that Mello followed.

"Mello, I feel that I should tell you what will happen though you won't want to hear it."

He felt his pulse rise, but waited for L to continue.

"It is not altogether uncommon for a vampire to regain his emotion, but never once has one survived once they form an attachment to a human. They will always either kill themselves or be killed by others."

The blond stopped, horrified by what he was hearing. "Why?"

"Please quiet down, I will of course explain but you should not draw attention to the fact that you are not completely in control of yourself." L turned into one of the doors, revealing a small kitchen. He motioned for Mello to take a seat before beginning to fix himself a plate of cake.

"Mello… have you been with the boy long?"

"No. Only a few days."

"Then it is not too late. You need to separate yourself from him. Though you may not mean too, you will end up killing him and when that happens…"

He didn't need to finish the sentence. Mello could already feel what loosing Matt would do to him. There would be no way to go on, no way to keep himself sane with his overflowing emotions.

"Most vampires simply begin to kill, only stopping when others must step in and eliminate them to protect our anonymity. If you do not wish to be responsible for the death of this human, and your own death as well, there is no other option."

Mello sat silently, taking in what he'd heard. After a long pause, he spoke. "There's no way to control it? No one who's made it? What if I transformed him?" He refused to accept that he would have to give Matt up.

"No one. And as for transforming him, he would simply become emotionless as we all are. What would you do then?"

L was right, it would be the same as loosing him. "Then there's nothing…?"

The overseer nodded slowly and sat eating his cake, letting Mello absorb the information. If everything he had heard was true, then there was no more reason to stay.

"Thank you for all of your advice, but I should leave now." When no protest came, he strode to the door. Before it closed behind him though, he peeked back in.

"L, why are you helping me?" From what he'd been told, it would be in L's best interest to rat him out.

"Let's just say I find your predicament interesting. Good bye Mello." With that, the blond vampire nodded and left, ignoring the cheery receptionist as she wish him good day.


	14. Chapter 14

"Mello?"

Before he could make it to the elevator, he heard someone calling his name. Turning around, he saw that it was a small white-headed child. Children were not common among vampires, and it could be disconcerting to speak to them because of how much their outward appearance didn't reflect their age. As if to add to his already albino appearance, he was clad in all white. The blond waited for him to catch up, not moving from his spot.

"Could I please have a word with you?"

It wasn't difficult to act emotionless after the news he had received. His mind was numb, still hearing what L had to say. There was no excuse he could make to get home without revealing his secret so he agreed and followed the boy into the main library. Seated at one of the plush reading stations, the oddly dressed boy began to speak.

"Sorry for not introducing myself, I am Near." Mello only nodded since it was obvious that Near already knew his name. "I couldn't help but notice you came from L's office empty handed. Was he unhelpful?"

Mello could only snort as he recalled the harsh news he had received. "More than unhelpful."

Though his face remained neutral, the glint in Near's eyes became stronger. "Really? I'm sorry to hear that. Forgive me, it's just that… I would so covet the chance to be the overseer and yet he cannot even adequately perform his duties."

Mello almost growled in frustration as he realized what he had been roped into. Near had taken his statement the wrong way and now he couldn't even explain himself. The boy continued on, oblivious to the blonde's anger.

"I would like to be appointed as his successor, but… he seems reluctant to do so. If you are dissatisfied with him, perhaps you could help me?"

Once again, he could make no excuse to leave without looking suspicious. It was simply an unspoken part of etiquette among them. With an exceptionally long, if not endless, lifespan to fill, it was rare that a new task would be turned down.

"I suppose." He agreed half-heartedly but nearly changed his mind when he heard the task. Instead of arriving home early to Matt, he would be spending the rest of the night going through archives with a conniving boy for some precedent of an overseer being impeached.

What he hoped would be done by morning instead lasted until the next afternoon. Heaps of books, ledgers, journals, and official records sifted through and none of the proof that the albino longed far was found. Each passing minute made Mello more anxious as he silently prayed for it to be over. He had promised Matt they he would be home by that night, but he silently wondered if the redhead would even care if he was late. Instead of dwelling on it, he immersed himself in another book.

Where was he? Matt looked out the window, watching the sun set over the city skyline. Hadn't he promised to be back by today? As the sky became darker, the doubts he had suppressed all day began to circle in his head. Mostly it was fear that Mello would be able to loose his emotion again and not even bother to come back. Or maybe he would return only to kick him out, or worse….

That brought on another train of thought, did Mello _want_ to loose his emotion? Was the whole point of seeking out information to detach himself from the redhead? With the sunset's completion he let the doubts in completely, convinced that the blond wasn't coming back as promised for the sole purpose that it was only a freak coincidence that he had liked the gamer to begin with. It was only by random chance that someone could care for him, want him…

A mother that didn't want him, prospective parents that didn't want him, and guardians that only wanted his innocence… Nothing suggested that he was lovable. It had taken overpowering emotion and sex to stay with Mello, and now he didn't even have that. At eleven he changed into too-large sweatpants and curled up in the blonde's bed, trying not to cry so pathetically.

It was thirty minutes later when he thought he heard a noise and tried to quiet his sobbing. He could hear the front door being unlocked and swung open. When Mello walked into the bedroom, he quickly sat up and tried to wipe his eyes. It was in vain though, because as soon as he saw the concern in Mello's eyes he began to sob again. He wasn't sure if it was from relief that the vampire still harbored emotions, or if he was upset that they were the only reason the blond liked him at all.

Mello rushed to the bed to hold him, curling his body protectively around the redhead's. "What's wrong?"

Matt couldn't articulate what he was feeling, instead settling on a lie. "I was just worried." They both knew that wasn't it, but Mello let it go, closing his eyes as he took in his scent.

He was rocked in the blonde's arms until he could only hiccup, tears finally running dry. Laying them both down and pulling up the covers, Mello didn't stop comforting him until he was soundly asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

"Mmmm, ah Mello!" Matt groaned in his ear and arched back in his arms. His bare chest was glistening and begging to be touched as Mello held him around the waist. Leaning forward, the blond eagerly began sucking and licking to hear Matt's delicious moans.

"Ohhh, Mello please touch me…" The redhead's arms wound around his neck as he brought their faces together. His eye's remained closed though. Mello noticed that he hadn't opened them once, but he was too distracted by their groins rubbing together. One hand slid down the teen's stomach to his length and Mello smirked when he felt something unexpected. Sure enough, when he looked down Matt was wearing black lacy panties that barely covered his growing bulge.

"Hot for me already?" Mello chuckled and rubbed his tip through the thin material, making them wet with precum. The redhead leaned forward as his hips ground into the blonde's palm and panted. His warm breath whispered across Mello's neck, making him moan as well.

He let his hand slip into the panties to grab him directly and begin pumping him. Matt threw his head back and let his voice get even louder, unrestrained. "Mello…!"

Licking along the shell of his ear, Mello whispered lowly. "Open your eyes, I want to see your face as I make you come so hard you—" His words were choked off as Matt obeyed.

His eyes were blank, staring past him and seeing nothing. His head lolled back as Mello glanced down to his neck. Warm red blood was pouring down onto his striped shirt and jeans, staining them crimson. Staring, Mello brought a hand up to his own mouth and wiped a gloved hand across his lips. His fingertips came away stained with blood.

"Matt?" But he already knew it was only a body he was holding. Matt was gone, cold and lifeless.

"Mello?" The blond frantically looked around the inky darkness for the voice that called him. "Mello?" He knew who's yell that was.

"Matt? Where are you?" Even as he called back he stood up, the redhead still in his arms.

"Mello…? Mello!" Suddenly the vampire spotted him in the distance, stumbling though the dark in search of him. He was crying and calling out as if his life depended on it, confused and alone. "Mello, where am I?"

"Matt!" No matter how much he screamed the boy couldn't hear him, continuing to trip and grope his way around. Finally he stayed down, resting on his knees and begging for the blond to find him. Mello couldn't move though, weighed down by the body in his arms.

A dark figure glided out of the empty space next to the redhead, hooded and sinister. It seemed to be speaking, but Mello couldn't hear it. He only guessed what it said by Matt's reaction. The teen tried to stand and run but his ankle was grabbed by a bony hand, tripping him. Though he struggled, he was pulled away, screaming with tears streaming down his face. "Mello, please! Don't let him take me!" His body soon went limp as he continued to cry, letting himself be pulled away. "Please… I don't want to go…" His voice began to fade away.

Mello could only stand and watch in horror until Matt was gone, taken by the ghostly figure. Looking back in his arms, he realized that the redhead was dead, soul dragged kicking and screaming to the grave.

"MATT!"

He sat up quickly in bed, panting and wide-eyed. He let out a choked sob, reality not yet catching up with the dream. Matt was dead and it was his fault.

"Mello?" A small voice sounded near his ear. He looked down to find a very frightened looking redhead clinging to his chest with his own arms wrapped around his waist. The blond could only stare at his face, taking in its healthy tint and sparking eyes. He didn't even realize he was crying until Matt reached up and softly wiped away a tear.

He was alive. He repeated it to himself until the dream had faded a bit. Leaning down, Mello kissed his lips forcefully. Matt only closed his eyes and let Mello's tongue in to explore, not bothering to fight against the obviously upset vampire. The blond leaned back, pulling the teen on top of him and closing his eyes. He didn't know what time it was but he was more tired than when he had gone to sleep. With the risk of having another nightmare though, he wondered if he should just stay awake.

"Um, Mello? Is something… wrong?"

"Just a dream, I'm sorry I woke you." He burred his face in Matt's red hair and rubbed his back soothingly. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Matt nodded, still tired. He snuggled into the blonde's neck and soon his breathing was soft and regular, signaling that he had fallen back to sleep. Comforted by his steady pulse and warm body, Mello did the same. The dream made him wonder though. Would that someday be reality, when he became too thirsty one day? The thought terrified him as he watched Matt gently sleeping, trusting him to stay sane.


	16. Chapter 16

When he woke up, Mello stayed still and simply listened to Matt's heartbeat. He had a feeling that it the redhead wouldn't be happy to wake without him there though the thought gave him mixed feelings. He was still worried about Matt's state the night before but secretly thrilled that the teen seemed to care so much. The blond looked down and took in how perfect Matt looked when he was sleeping, when he was completely at peace and not hurting or crying. It was worrying how he seemed to always be one or both.

How many times had his life fallen apart? Had he been hurt or disappointed? And he was still so young, even by human standards. If Mello kicked him out now, even for his own good… He tried to figure out a way to make it easier. He could maybe take care of the redhead without seeing him, set up a bank account with no limit. Though he tried to be reasonable he knew that his mind was already made up, and had been since he first heard the news. There was no way that he could leave Matt alone.

He was one person who drove him crazy and who now depended on him. He might not like it, but it was increasingly obvious that the teen would do anything to stay, give up everything he had for one person that cared for him.

But if he really cared for Matt… wasn't leaving in his best interest? Mello himself was the greatest threat to his safety, even if he didn't know it yet. There was no use debating all this yet though without first telling Matt what he had found. Though the redhead had only agreed to stay if Mello could control himself, the blond had a sinking suspicion the teen would cave and stay anyway. Either way, he had to be told.

"Mello? Good morning." He rubbed his eyes and sat up. All Mello could see was his nightmare coming to life. Apparently it showed on his face because Matt leaned closer.

"Are you alright?" He suddenly looked panicked. "Did something happen yesterday?"

"No! Nothing like that, I was just remembering my nightmare. Don't worry." He pulled the redhead back down beside him and kissed the top of his head.

"What was it about?"

Mello's mouth went dry. "Nothing, it was just a dream anyway. Why don't I fix you breakfast?" He knew that Matt was probably hungry. When he thought of food though, he realized just how long it had been since he last ate. Maybe that's what had triggered his nightmare.

Matt nodded yes and went to the bathroom to change into another pair of Mello's clothes. He really needed to go shopping soon. With a teenage boy living under his roof he would need clothes for him… and food. It was hard to recall if there was anything else Matt might need as a human that Mello wouldn't have. But if he were just going to leave…

He shook his head to end the thought as he pulled on tight black pants and thin tank that showed off his lean muscle. Instead of dwelling on how to tell Matt the news, he went to kitchen and began preparing a traditional breakfast. Eggs, pancakes, bacon, and toast were all giving off a wonderful scent as Matt reappeared in too big jeans and plain black shirt.

He perched on one of the stools at the counter and pulled out his Nintendo, focusing solely on the game. He lost track of time, starting when Mello placed a plate of food in front on him. To his surprise, Mello had a plate as well, though with less on in. Seeing his glance, Mello smiled.

"Like I said, I can still enjoy the taste."

They ate in silence, each aware of the conversation that needed to take place. Finally, Matt brought it up between bites of pancake. "So, you never told me about how the trip went…" The fact that Mello hadn't brought it up yet was making him nervous.

"It went fine. I found someone who knows about this sort of thing and he agreed to speak with me. He told me…"

Matt was listening raptly, expecting some sort of hope after a lifetime of being let down. He had to clear his throat before continuing.

"Well we had a long talk and apparently this isn't something uncommon so he was able to give me some advice. He said that I would be fine, it just takes practice and time to reign in the emotion to a safe level." Mello smiled broadly at the look of pleasant surprise on the redhead's face.

"Then why haven't you seemed happy? Did I do something wrong?" Of course Matt would have picked up on his sullen mood since he returned home.

"No, it's just that… he also told me that most humans who trigger a vampire's emotions don't live through the first few days. I've just been thinking about what could have happened."

Matt nodded and walked over to him, climbing to straddle his lap. "Don't worry about things that could have happened if they didn't ok? This is great right? I mean…" He looked unsure.

"What?" As if understanding, his face softened. "What were you thinking about last night? Before I came home."

Matt swallowed but was reassured by the hand rubbing his back. "D-do you even want to feel? Did you leave to find a way to make it stop? I just… I don't want to make you…"

Mello couldn't stop himself from interrupting when he saw the beginnings of tears from on the corner of red lashes. "No, no. I didn't go to make it stop, I went so you would stay. I went so I could protect you." _And yet all I'm doing is putting you in the worst danger possible. _He wondered why he had chosen to lie. There was no way he could take it back now. Especially when Matt leaned down to give him a tentative kiss.

The blond brought his hand up to tangle in copper hair and pull them closer. The kiss was slow and smoldering, deep and rough. Matt had one arms wrapped around his neck and the other hand resting on his chest, responding by pressing himself closer. The vampire's other arm wrapped around his lower waist to pull them as close as possible as Mello's tongue slipped in to rub against the redhead's. There was no hesitation, no fear as Matt squirmed against him in anticipation. Mello wondered if the kiss was as hot for Matt as it was for him. He could practically feel the fire running through his body.

Fantasies came unbidden to his head of what he might do with the teen. He could have him right there on the kitchen counter, the redhead's calls echoing in his once silent kitchen. Or the bedroom… He was ravenous for the teen. Starving for more touches and famished for the heat of his….

Before he could complete the thought the hunger hit him. What had been thinking, to come home after two days without eating? He couldn't let himself be hungry while Matt was here, much less starved! Now he was shaky as he smelled salty scent of the redhead's heated skin.

His hands flew to the redhead's shoulders to put a little distance between them.

"Mello?"

"S-sorry, I just need to…" He tipped Matt's head back and licked up his neck. "I need to eat first." His panting breath trailed over the gamer's shoulder and back up, teeth scraping over the skin every now and then. From the hitch in the teen's breathing, he would guess that he had startled him.

"I'll be back soon." His head rested on Matt's shoulder as he made no move to leave. Matt only nodded before noticing that Mello wasn't getting up. He slowly climbed down before sitting on the next stool.

"I'm sorry I just, I can't be hungry around you ok? It isn't safe." He dashed for the door.

"I understand."

With that, Mello was out the door and sprinting down the hall. He had to drink quickly before the temptation of the easy prey in his home made him do the one thing he would regret forever.

It didn't take long to find a someone willing to help him find his way around the city. It seemed like that was how he always got a meal but it was a tested method that worked. His looks and decades of experience gave him a charm that made violence unnecessary. There was no need to abduct someone when they were perfectly willing to follow, or lead, you wherever you wanted to go.

This time it was a black haired woman, about 25 or so, and obviously looking for a steady boyfriend. She asked about his interests and hobbies and seemed impressed with his manners. He wondered why it didn't bother him to know he was going to kill her. She was vibrant, full of life and potential. She was smart, with a degree in business and a job at a large corporation. Looking at her, he felt like he could almost see into the future. She would be a higher up at work in no time, maybe even a CEO. She would have a husband, maybe children. She was pleasant and positive, someone that could really make a difference in the world and yet in less than twenty minutes she would be dead and her bright future would be extinguished.

"Well here you are!"

Mello realized that while he had been absorbed in his own thoughts they had reached their destination, a large public library where the blond intended to invite her in with him and kill her. Instead though, he surprised himself by simply thanking her. Before he could turn to go, she pulled out her cell phone.

"Um, would you like to exchange numbers?"

He only nodded and gave her his number, programming hers in his own cell. He realized that he hadn't caught her name when he had to ask for the spelling. It was Naiomi Misora, the first human contact in his phone's memory. It was almost surreal to think that he would be letting her go.

As she left, he knew that it wasn't guilt or pity that compelled him to let her walk away. He still felt nothing for her, but it was something more akin to respect. He held too much respect for her life and the future she could have to kill her. Instead, Mello walked into the library to find another girl and led her to a deserted section of the library. No surveillance meant that it was common for couples to make out between the bookshelves and easy to lure someone out of site.

Satisfied, he began walking home. All his thoughts were of Matt and what he would do now. If he wasn't going to take back the lie then he supposed…. Matt would be staying with him despite L's warnings. The strange man had to be wrong, there had to be some way to gain control. Matt was counting on him.

"Matt?"

When he arrived home, Mello walked through the apartment, finding the redhead lying on the bed playing his game. He was too absorbed again to speak, even though Mello knew he saw him enter the room. Climbing on the bed beside the gamer, he spooned him from behind, resting his head where he could watch the game screen. The rush of emotion just being close to Matt was intense, causing him nuzzle into his neck and sigh in contentment.

It wasn't long until Matt finished the level and turned off the game. "Sorry, welcome back." He rolled over and give the blond a proper hug.

Mello felt the now familiar rush of affection as he kissed the top of the teen's head. Working his way down, he kissed to the base of Matt's neck and back to his ear. He wanted the redhead to know how much he cared, how much he…. "I love you."

He continued kissing before he realized what he had said. He also noticed that Matt had stopped responding and gone completely still. When he looked up the redhead looked stunned as stunned as he was. It was true though, even if he hadn't seen it until just then. "I love you." He repeated it, almost to make sure it was true. It was followed with a kiss, then another. Anywhere his lips could reach until he felt the redhead's tears start. He almost knew that they were coming but that didn't let that stop him.

"M-mello… I'm sorry I just… it's just that you only l-love me because of this thing that's happened and..."

Mello knew what he was trying to say: it isn't really love. But just because his feelings sped things up, if didn't feel fake. More like, he would have eventually fallen in love, and the intensity of his emotions caused it to happen faster. And there was no doubt in his mind that he was right, he loved Matt and didn't care the reason as long as the redhead stayed.

"I love you, does it really matter why? Please don't cry…"

Matt nodded and wiped at his eyes, trying to stop. Mello only continued to kiss and stroke. "I love you, I love all of you and I want every part of you to be mine, only mine…" He couldn't stop the emotions flooding through him as his impromptu confession continued. When he was done, Matt was crying again, this time in happiness.

"Matt?"

"Hm?" He tried to control his tears.

"Let's go shopping."

Matt laughed at that, making Mello smile in turn. "Where did that come from?"

The vampire thought over his answer. "I want this to be your home. You need clothes and food and… whatever you want. I want you to have everything you need here, so it can be yours too." He wasn't sure if he was making any sense but Matt seemed touched. He nodded and smiled with a few stray tears still making their way down his cheeks.

"Ok, let's go shopping."


	17. Chapter 17

Mello locked the apartment behind them as they began their journey into New York City. Matt looked down dubiously at his clothes, obviously not dressed for going anywhere.

"Relax, we'll get clothing first and then you can wear that for the rest of the day ok?"

"Ok, but Mello… I know I need clothes and everything but you don't have to spend a lot. I mean, I'd be happy with-"

Mello cut him off with a kiss. "It might be hard to imagine, but I'm _much_ older than I look. I guess you could say I'm very wealthy, but what do I really have to spend money on? This'll be the first time I get to go shopping with someone and I even get to actually enjoy it. Just let me have my fun ok? Now that I actually can." He smiled when Matt nodded. "Good."

Matt enjoyed the walk, not really caring where they went. It was chilly and he made a mental note to get a jacket at the first store they went to. He snapped back to reality though when he noticed how high end the stores they passed were becoming. "Erm, Mello, isn't this a bit much? I'd be just fine with anything."

"What did I say? Don't worry about the money, I can afford it. Just show me what you like." He pulled him into a store who's name Matt wasn't even sure he could pronounce. Looking around he found that he wasn't sure where to begin looking. Mello seemed to know what he was doing though.

"Let's start with pants." He strode confidently in the direction of the men's clothing, Matt following close behind. "What sort of thing do you like?"

"I basically like what I was wearing when we met…"

"So jeans?"

He nodded affirmative and began browsing through them for his size. Mello stayed near and through trial and error, he caught on to the redhead's style. He noted that they might need to hit a different type of store to find things more… Matt. The shops in their area weren't exactly going to have skinny jeans and clothes with odd embellishments.

When they had a few outfits, the blond waited outside the dressing room. It was uncomfortable waiting as he got the impression he was being watched. His suspicions were confirmed when he heard giggling coming from a rack nearby. It wasn't too hard to overhear what the girls hiding behind the clothes were saying.

"If _I_ was his girlfriend, I wouldn't make him wait outside the dressing room." More giggles and another girl chimed in.

"More like wait _inside_!" They all dissolved into laughter at that and he counted maybe four different voices. He surprised himself by being amused at them, like his emotions were suddenly branching out to include other people besides Matt. The feeling was nowhere near as strong, but still there. He wondered if this were a good or bad sign. Before he could contemplate further, Matt came out with a new outfit on. It was plain skinny jeans, he noted with pride that it was a pair he had picked out, and red long sleeved shirt.

As he walked over, Mello overheard the girls again. "Oh, Look! He's not with a girlfriend, Rita you might have a shot after all!" Excited twittering ensued, giving the vampire an idea. After Matt handed him the clothing that he didn't want, he set it on the bench beside him and pulled the teen into his lap for a kiss. He could hear the shocked gasps from the rack-girls as he was now calling them.

He pulled back and smirked at Matt's blush and questioning look. He silently nodded toward where the girls were hiding. When the gamer realize what was going on, his face became even redder, almost matching his hair.

The blond stole one more kiss then started for the register. It looked like the cashier might have a problem with ringing up the clothes wile the gamer was wearing them but one glare had him scanning the items without a fuss. Matt paled a little at the total but reframed from commenting. Tags removed, they walked out into the nippy air. He realized that he hadn't found a jacket he liked and Mello must have noticed him shivering.

"I think I know of some shops that you'll like a little more, but we'll need to take the subway. Do you want to go?"

"Sure." He was curious what sort of place Mello thought he might like. Thirty minutes later though, he was staring to wonder if he'd made a good decision. They had arrived at a dingy part of town, completely the opposite of where they started. He stayed close to Mello, slightly worried about what they were getting into. The blond finally slowed his pace as the walked down a street with several shady looking shops. "In here."

Matt wondered what sort of clothing would be in a store called 'Clockwork' but as he entered he realized that it might have what he was looking for after all. Loud techno was being pumped through the store's speakers while neon and black lights gave the place the feeling of a rave.

Just from browsing through a few of the racks, he realized that Mello was right. Most of these clothes were more his style, many of them with stripe patterns. Speaking of the blond, he was looking around the store as well as Matt picked out clothes. The pile on his arm was growing quickly without him realizing it until the vampire appeared behind him and took some off his hands. Matt blushed a little as he remembered who was paying for all of this but Mello only smiled and urged him to continue. He kept only the clothes he would need to try on and headed for the dressing room.

Satisfied with everything he picked out, he wandered over to the jackets to search for one. At first he didn't see anything that caught his eye, making him wonder if he would find anything. About to give up and buy a plain black jacket, he spotted faux fur and tan suede peeking out form between two larger jackets. He pulled the vest off the hanger, noting how unusual it was. When he slipped it on though, it felt like what he was looking for.

Mello gave him a doubtful look when he first saw the redhead wearing it but then cocked his head to the side and gave a half smile.

"Is that your way of saying you approve?"

"That's my way of saying that it might grow on me. Is it the one you want?"

Matt nodded and walked to the counter, not taking it off. The cashier gave them no problems about the vest, even smiling because of the amount of clothes they were buying. At the last minute Matt spotted orange tinted goggles similar to the ones sitting back at Mello's apartment but nicer. He had left his all-important goggles behind for the day because they didn't exactly look normal with black jeans and a baggy black shirt. Now though, he was wishing that he had the pair sitting on the shelf behind the cashier. Before he could protest Mello added them to the bill and slipped them onto his head, completing the look.

Arms loaded down with bags, Mello led him out of the store and back to the subway. Despite Clockwork being a good shop, Matt was still happy to leave for a nicer part of town. Not that he was worried with Mello around but it still made him uncomfortable.

One grocery store, shoe store, and game store later, they lugged their bags back to the penthouse. It had taken all afternoon but Mello was sure that Matt would have everything he needed now. The game store had been more a last minute thing when he saw the redhead glance longingly through the window as they passed. He had of course balked at the idea of the blond spending money on him that wasn't necessary but the blond could see the happy glow around him when they left with two gaming systems and more games than Matt had ever owned.

Arriving home, they began to sort through everything and put it away, Matt hanging his new clothes in the closet and placing shampoo and a toothbrush in the bathroom. While he was doing this, Mello was unpacking groceries and putting them in the cabinets and fridge. He could hear the shower when he was done so he pulled out some beef cutlets and began to cook. He'd gotten used to cooking for one person so it wasn't hard to make a meal just for Matt.

The redhead walked in a few minutes before everything was ready and sat at the bar. He was wearing new Mario boxers and a plain shirt. Looking at him, Mello was reminded that no matter how young the teen seemed in comparison to himself, he wasn't a child. Lean muscles accented his long arms and legs.

"How old are you?" The question burst out before he thought about it. He realized that he had never even bothered to find out.

"19." Matt looked at him oddly but shrugged dismissively. "Why?"

"Just wondering." As he turned back around though he began to realize how little he knew about the redhead's past. Other than he had been abused and run away, the blond new nothing. He had let his own crisis had overshadowed everything else… Now that it was worked out though, or at lease put on hold, he resolved to learn more about the redhead's past.


	18. Chapter 18

***!* A/N: PLEASE READ~! *!***

I know it's taken me a little while to get this chapter up but I have a good reason that I think many of you will enjoy. I've written a new story (it is completely done and ready to be posted so don't refrain from ready because you want to wait till it's complete) Please go read the first chapter and leave a review to answer my question in the author's note: Should I post all at once or once a day? Thank you guys!

Now, enjoy the chapter ;D

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"Thanks for everything today…" Matt leaned in and kissed the vampire in front of him. Mello only smirked and leaned closer, kissing him again. His heart sped up as he noted that Matt was no longer hesitant when they kissed. The redhead let himself be wrapped up in the blonde's arms, warm beneath the covers of Mello's bed. At first, the vampire had put covers between them, trying to keep from making Matt cold but the gamer had only frowned and moved them. Instead, he pressed their bodies together and suppressed a triumphant grin when Mello gave a content sigh from the warmth.

Gaining confidence, Mello whispered in his ear. "You know the best part of buying you new clothes?" He could already feel the familiar lust rising but tried to contain it. He didn't want Matt to feel obligated because of everything he had bought him and he resolved to work on controlling his emotions.

"What's that?" Matt's flirtatious smile told him that the redhead knew where this was going.

He licked at the gamer's ear earning a small squeak of surprise. "Taking them off." His hands were already traveling up Matt's sides, pushing his shirt up as they went. He could feel the redhead's body shiver, nipples already hard, at how cold his hands were but he didn't protest as his top was pulled over his head. As soon as it was gone, their lips were pressed together, Mello's tongue slipping in to rub against Matt's and tickle the roof of his mouth. This time the teen shuddered from excitement as his arms locked behind the vampire's neck.

Mello could feel the heat rising; the warming sensation that made him feel almost human again. Matt's body was flushed and hot against his and he was eager to remove his own shirt to press them together. His hands slipped down of their own accord to grope the tight ass he couldn't wait to get inside. Mello had to remind himself to show some self-control as he began slipping off the redhead's geekish boxers. His excitement only grew though when he felt the hem snag on Matt's growing erection and heard the teen's tiny gasp of pleasure.

Completely stripped, Matt pulled tentatively at Mello's own pajama pants, finding no boxers beneath. The blond shifted his hips to let them slide down more easily and moaned when Matt's hands accidently brushed his own hard on. Biting his lip, the teen took Mello in his hand and began stroking softly, his own excitement mounting. He could feel the pre-cum leaking from his tip as the blond grew fully hard at his touch. Mello was larger than he was and he tried to hold back a moan as he imagined the vampire's throbbing member entering him.

He didn't notice as Mello's hand snaked it's way between his legs to stroke him in turn and couldn't restrain a surprised whimper of pleasure. The blonde's thumb ran repeatedly over his tip, spreading the slippery substance over his hardness and beginning to pump faster. Mello's breathing was heavy as he kissed all over the redhead's neck and slid his now aching dick between Matt's legs. Blushing heavily, the teen tightened his thighs, feeling Mello twitch as he continued gripping and releasing.

"Ah, Matt…" He could barely think, much less speak as he became dizzy with want. He quickly flipped Matt on his back and kissed him passionately, letting his moans fall unrestrained. The gamer responded in turn by tangling his fingers into blond hair pulling, making the kiss harder.

Mello's hands pushed his legs apart before one was at his lips, three fingers extended. Still panting from the kiss, Matt sucked and licked at the digits seductively but Mello was quick to pull them out as soon as they were properly slicked. Still trying to hold himself back, he took his time stretching the redhead beneath him. Each wince on Matt's part was reciprocated with kisses and distracting nibbles on Mello's.

Mello could feel that Matt was getting close already from the pre-cum leaking over his hand but the redhead wanted to last until the blond came inside him.

"M-mello, now. I'm ready"

He whined as the vampire nodded and positioned himself, still managing to tease the teen through the fog of pleasure clouding his mind. When he finally pushed in, Matt clung to him, moaning loudly though he tried to muffle it in the crook of Mello's neck.

"Don't hold back… I want to- ah! Hear you" Mello was barely able to wait before he began moving. Matt's tightness was bordering on painful but each slight thrust increased the pleasure in his groin.

When he was more adjusted, Matt arched his back, head thrown back against the pillows, and pushed his hips up to meet Mello's. He whimpered as he felt all of the blonde's erection pressing against the walls of his body. It felt so right, having Mello's cock buried deep inside him. With each rocking motion the pace increased until the bed was rocking with the force of their thrusts. They each called out loudly, unrestrained between kisses.

Matt could feel himself reaching his peak, though he tried to hold on to the pleasure as long as he could. The sight above him was most erotic he'd ever seen, Mello's expression lost in pure pleasure. He was consumed by the feelings washing over him, and Matt felt the possession of his gaze. The blond was claiming him as his own and it went strait to Matt's groin.

"Ng, Mello… I'm- I'm going to..."

Mello didn't answer, only pounded into his sweet spot harder as sweat rolled off their bodies. When Matt came it was like a tidal wave, ripping the blonde's name from his throat in a horse yell.

Mello wasn't far behind, growling Matt's name into his ear as he filled the redhead. They lay trembling against each other, panting and trying to gain their breath. Mello's arms were to shaky to hold him up any longer and he pulled out of the redhead before lying down on Matt's chest, exhausted.

Matt couldn't help but feel as though Mello were a tamed beast as he ran a hand through the blonde's hair. After all, Mello was just as much his as he was Mello's. The vampire had confessed love to him, wanted only him, and had opened his home to him. He was sure that for whatever reason, Mello wouldn't feel this way about anyone else.

Eyes slipping closed in the post-sex haze, Matt allowed himself a small smile. After everything he had been through, it seemed fate was finally on his side. Someone loved him, and not only that but had taken him and wanted to take care of him. For the first time, he had someone that he cared for as well.

He drifted to sleep peacefully, the covers still warm above them.


	19. Note

Just a note! Sorry for the false hope D: I've edited the chapters and made a few slight changes here and there. Mostly on chapters 1-9. There were several spots where I had still been unsure of where the story was going and I was flip-flopping between plot lines so I finally straitened them out. No major changes! But it should be a smoother read and I tried to fix regular grammar errors as I found them. So if you'd like to take a second look I hope to hear what you think! Hopefully the plot is a little clearer now.


	20. Chapter 19

Yes! It's true, I'm alive :) If you haven't read the note I did some editing and got some reviews asking me to keep going. I get very busy but I've never given up on a story and I don't intend to start now. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

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When Mello came to he was alone in the bed and quickly bolted up, all traces of sleep gone. Heart hammering he looked around but finally heard the running bath water and tried to relax. The constant roller coaster of emotions was wearing him out and he knew he would need to eat again today and maybe everyday if that's what it took to keep Matt safe.

Deciding it was too late to catch some last minute sleep he climbed out of bed and knocked on the bathroom door.

"It's not locked."

The blond smiled at the invitation and walked in, surprised to see the tub piled high with bubbles, some having even overflowed onto the floor.

"Sorry about the mess…" he was sheepish but Mello only climbed in the tub behind him, further spilling the foam. He sighed heavily at the warmth and let himself relax with Matt in his lap.

"Hey Mello?"

"Hmm…?"

"Thanks for everything you're doing."

There was no reply, only arms wrapped around shoulders and another content sigh. They went about the remainder of the morning in peaceful silence, the blond happy to cook breakfast and do nothing but relax. In the back of his mind he was still worried about L's advice but he was able to push it down for the time being.

It wasn't until later in the afternoon that he gathered his thoughts to figure out the best way to keep Matt safe. He paused the redhead's current game and sank down on the couch.

"I've been thinking about the other morning, when I was so hungry. I think I need to start eating every day, at least for a while; to make sure it doesn't happen again. I thought maybe I'd go early every morning before you wake up."

Matt only nodded. "I understand."

"Do you?" It was a difficult subject to broach, especially considering he didn't want to loose the redhead but Mello pressed on. "You understand what I am, what I do?"

Matt had wondered when it would come up and he'd had ample time to dwell on the subject. "Mello, I know the situations aren't quite the same, but would you condemn a wolf for eating a deer? It's how nature words, every living thing has to eat something. I don't expect you to starve just because you've become attached to one person. I know we're the exception not the rule, and I'm thankful."

Mello nodded in relief, pulling him into his lap. "A wolf hu?" he smirked, making Matt laugh. "Something like that."

A knock on the door quickly wiped the smile off of Mello's face. There shouldn't have been any reason for someone to visit and he quickly jumped over the couch. "Stay down ok?" Matt nodded and crouched until his hair was hidden from view. The door was pulled open to reveal a very thoughtful looking L. For a long minute they simply stared at each other before Mello moved aside to let him in.

"I am sorry for the intrusion, but I thought I should pay you a visit." He walked to the living room to sit, not looking surprised to see Matt slouched on the couch, frozen and watching him closely.

L only extended his hand, "It is a pleasure to meet you, I am L."

Trying not to be impolite he obliged. "Matt."

Mello was trailing close behind him and hastily sat pulling the redhead against his chest protectively. Sensing now was not the time to argue Matt only curled in closer and wrapped an arm around Mello's neck. He leaned in to whisper "Mello, what's wrong?" He became even more alarmed when the blond began trembling and clutched him tighter. "Mello?"

The vampire didn't need L to speak to know what he would say. Even if he didn't report them he would still ask that he give Matt up.

"I take it he didn't tell you Matt, and I'm sorry to be visiting you to deliver bad news today."

He looked over at the black haired vampire, wondering what his role was in Mello's strange behavior. "What are you talking about?"

He was blunt and to the point, stunning Matt into silence. "Once a vampire regains his or her emotions and forms an attachment to a human, they are doomed to kill that person and then be killed by their fellow vampires in their ensuing madness. I'm afraid there has never been an exception."

He paused to let the information sink in. Matt only turned to the distraught blond still holding onto him for dear life. "Mello?" He was pulled into a tight hug with Mello's lips against his ear.

He whispered softly, begging "Forgive me, please forgive me."

He held his distressed lover close, comforting him as L's voice interrupted again. "I've come to see if you would be persuaded to give the boy up before it is too late but now I think we both know that point as already been passed."

Matt could feel himself slowly going numb at the news. He knew everything had been too good to be true. "Please, at least give him a chance!" He knew Mello would move heaven and earth for him, do anything to keep form hurting him. It didn't seem fair to say they couldn't be together without letting them try.

"I'm afraid that will only result in more casualties. If you will not leave willingly I will have to make you, or end this here." The threat hung heavily in the air and Matt knew Mello would rather give him up than see him harmed. There was no way he was leaving, even with this new information.

Leaning forward he whispered so only Mello could hear. "Please Mello, this is my home, here with you. Don't make me go. I love you. You have my heart, please don't leave me, I need you." He knew he was being unreasonable but he continued to confess, knowing the effect his words would be having on the blond.

"Matt!" L stood angrily. He wasn't stupid; he knew what the redhead was doing. The damage was done though and Matt found himself on the couch as Mello stood between L and himself.

"Get out of my home!" The fight broke out quickly and Matt was unsure if there was anything he could do to help or if he would only get in the way. They seemed evenly matched but I swift kick to the jaw gave L the chance he needed. He was up and over to the couch, leaning over Matt who had been knocked on his back. He tried to fight back but L quickly trapped his arms and legs, exposing his elongated canine teeth. He didn't have time to use them though as Mello barreled into him, knocking the whole couch backwards and toppling all of them to the floor.

Both vampires leaped up and Mello pulled Matt behind him as placed distance between themselves and L. "Mello, you know I cannot leave until something has been resolved." They stood poised and staring at each other for several minutes and Matt could see his protector thinking hard for a solution.

Before L could react he spun and pulled Matt to him. "Trust me." He bit and tore a large gash in his arm and brought it to Matt's lips. "Drink." There was only a second's hesitation before the redhead obeyed. L didn't try to intervene, knowing it was already too late. As Matt lost consciousness Mello sank to his knees, cradling his head in his lap.

"Leave us. I'll stay sane as long as he's with me." His voice was hollow, knowing he had just lost the best thing he would ever have.

"You know I will have to check on that. I am sorry Mello."

The blond only nodded and didn't look up as the overseer left.

He ran his hands through red hair before carrying Matt's cooling body to their bed and changing him into pajamas as well as himself. He tucked them in for the night, holding the now freezing teen. He wanted to be close when Matt woke. He begged for miracle, for Matt to be unchanged when sunrise came but knew the biggest part of his redhead would be gone.


	21. Chapter 20

Surprise, I'm not dead! I had some people review and ask about this story and rest assured that I haven't given up on it by any means I'm just very busy. This is a super short chapter but I thought y'all might enjoy it anyway. Your reviews are always so inspiring! Enjoy ^^

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24 hours later Mello sat against the headboard, trying to sooth Matt as he finished changing. He had almost forgotten how badly it hurt but hearing his redhead's whimpering brought the memories fresh to the forefront of his mind. It could only be compared to a searing of the veins, every cell being branded and every breath for cool air only feeling molten instead.

"It'll be done soon, I promise." He stroked a lock of hair out of the boy's face. Though, to be fair Matt wasn't really a boy. He tried to remind himself that just because he had been alive longer than he cared to think about didn't make Matt a child. He supposed he should be grateful, Matt was a man before he was changed and wouldn't be stuck living endlessly as an underdeveloped child.

When Matt finally stilled the blonde's breath hitched. His emotions were still running high and though he had tried preparing himself for Matt's change there was no way to really be ready. He kissed the redhead's forehead, gently trying to shake him awake. The sooner he woke up the less likely he would be to slip into a coma. It was rare but he wouldn't take any chances.

"Matt wake up. It's done, open your eyes."

Slowly emerald eyes began to flutter open as he fought his way to consciousness. He was trying hard to move his body but his muscles were burning around his bones. Mello gently began massaging his arms and hands the way he remembered his maker doing for him. Matt hissed in pain as he was pulled up into a sitting position, his back resting against Mello's chest. He rested panting, latching onto Mello's hand and murmuring as the blond kept him awake. He spent the next hour in and out of lucidity, trying hard to move.

"Relax Matt, you don't have to rush just stay awake." He knew he needed to stay calm as exciting a newly changed could cause it to hurt itself. His heart was already breaking but he needed to let Matt rest for several days. He wanted the redhead's change done properly.

When he was able to move Matt turned to face the blond and looked up at him. He had known what to expect but he still dropped his face, trying to hide the pain and keep himself together. There was none of the life that had made his eyes seem so bright before. Now there wasn't even anger or sadness, only a dull unhappiness.

"Mello, I'm sorry…"

Pulling his composure together the older vampire only shook his head and pulled him closer, burying his face in russet hair.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. We'll deal with it later all right? For now you really need to stretch before you rest."

Matt only nodded and let himself be helped out of bed. Leaning heavily on his lover he was able to slowly stand and walk to the living room. Lying down on the couch he felt blackness threatening to pull him back into sleep. Mello sat on the floor beside his head, holding his hands tightly.

"It's ok to relax now, you're going to be fine. You will need to rest for several days so don't resist your body's demands for sleep. I will be here when you wake up."

He didn't let the tears spill over until he was sure Matt was too far gone to wake up. His redhead was gone and his presence would only haunt him, serving as a reminder of what he had lost. Even so he vowed to protect and love Matt until he no longer wanted it.

Kissing Matt's hand he silently stood and draped a think blanket over his now chilly body before slipping on boots and leaving to hunt for Matt's first meal. He was confident the gamer wouldn't wake before he returned. With one final look over his shoulder he stepped outside, locking the door behind him.


	22. Chapter 21

It took longer than hunting usually did to find someone that he could bring home, especially since he was being picky for Matt. Finally he found a petite brunette that the redhead would be able to overpower in his weak state. He strolled with his arm casually around her shoulders, luring her in with a promise of tea for showing him the way.

Matt was still asleep when they walked through the door and he let some of the tension out of his body. He was sure he was in the clear now but bringing meals home always made him weary. There were too many chances for something to go wrong. Leading her to the kitchen he began boiling the water for tea as he kept their conversation going. They hadn't had their drinks for long when Matt slouched into the room.

"Amanda, this is my flat mate. I'm afraid he's just getting over a nasty cold."

She nodded in sympathy as he padded over. One look told the blond that Matt understood why she was there. He was starving and wasted no time in flopping his arms around her shoulders from behind with an exaggerated huff of exhaustion. She giggled at his theatrics until he quickly covered her mouth and bit into her neck.

The gamer had never asked how Mello fed and since his wounds were healed afterwards he had never seen what the bite looked like. He was surprised to find that his teeth didn't change at all but when he pulled back his lips a single fang slid out over his left canine. It was hollow and when he finally dug it into her vein it allowed him to pull the blood through a newly formed duct. Suddenly blood was flowing hot out of a hole in the roof of his mouth that he hadn't previously noticed. The whole thing was bizarre but without his old emotions he focused only on getting rid of his hunger.

Mello stayed back, letting him figure things out for himself. He would get the hang of feeding quicker through trial and error. It took the redhead a full thirty minutes to feed and when he was done Mello could tell he was worn out from holding the girl still. Helping him up, the blond let him to the bedroom and sat beside him as he fell back into a deep sleep. He reminded himself to stay calm but he had several more days to go before Matt would be fully healed from his change. Until them he would have too much time to himself, too much time to think.

One trip to the dumpster later and he was back. He sat in the living room, trying to focus on a good book. The pain of loosing Matt was a thick undercurrent, barley contained and threatening to overflow. With L's threat hanging heavy over them Matt's life depended on his control. He sighed and tried to get more comfortable. It was going to be a long week…


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:** This update is all thanks to MisreadSoul. She sent me a wonderful PM that inspired me to write for you all. Send her a PM of thanks!

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Never before had time seemed to pass so slowly. Without emotion the centuries had never seemed boring and time had slipped like a ribbon quickly through his fingers. Now he could feel anxiousness, boredom, and restlessness all striving to make every minute feel like an hour. He began to look forward to bringing Matt his daily meal, if only because it provided a distraction. No fits or tears would call his lover back to him and he tried to lock his feelings back where they had hidden for so long.

Though remorse was beyond his reach, Matt still seemed to mind what happened to him and often fussed over him. Mello could tell he was trying to be as animated as possible to ease the pain and he tried to appreciate the level of care that took for the redhead. As they settled into a routine the weeks began to pass quicker, each day spent trying to think about anything at all. Some nights he felt as if the whole day had slipped by without him noticing. With nothing to look forward to he hardly wanted to leave the comfort of their bed.

Matt seemed content to stay and he had less drive to do anything than even Mello had when emotionless. At least he had traveled and collected, if only for something to do, but the redhead would easily lie between the sheets against him for eternity if allowed. He was clearly purposeless, left drifting without any direction. He was still sore and Mello massaged him daily to work out the burn still lingering deep in his muscles.

It was exactly three weeks before L visited again, though neither gave his presence much acknowledgement. Mello allowed him to enter and offered him something sweet before wandering to another room and leaving L to sit on the couch. Matt sat in the chair across from him and barely spared him a nod before going back to his gaming.

"I hope your change has gone well. It must be difficult with a housemate so overrun with emotion."

At this the gamer glanced up and responded blankly. "He hasn't shown much at all, and my change is fine. You don't need to have a conversation with me to see that."

L knew he was right; he had all the information he needed when he first walked though the door. Mello was subdued and Matt was a normal new vampire. He couldn't help but want to study them though since this was the first case he knew of where the human had been changed. Not wanting to overstay his welcome he quickly finished his cake and left, not bothering to find Mello to say goodbye.

When Mello returned to the living room several hours later Matt hadn't moved. The blond stood still and watched him play, trying to imagine that he enjoyed it and didn't do so only to fill the time. He hadn't gone out for food, too upset by L's visit, but Matt was old enough to slow down his meals and Mello had lost his appetite entirely.

Deciding there was really no reason to be up he approached Matt and held out his hand. Pulling him up, he led his redhead to the bedroom and curled around him from behind on the bed, watching him play as he fell asleep.

The following days were spent much the same and each day Mello only ventured out to bring back a meal for Matt, if he went out at all. The redhead had taken note and stayed close to him as much as he could. If he wasn't curled against his maker's side then he was within eyesight. There was nothing he could do to comfort the blond but he didn't want to be the source of more unhappiness than he already was.

Five more days passed and Mello stopped sleeping. He would lie next to Matt until he was asleep then watch him or get up to sit on the balcony alone until morning. To Matt he almost seemed restless but he tried to ignore the faint voice telling him something was wrong.

It took another week before the redhead could see the sleep wasn't the only thing Mello was neglecting. He was dropping weight, his thin frame making the missing pounds obvious. Not wanting the confront him, Matt began offering sips of his own meals but the blond only shook his head and assured him he was full. It was clear what was happening and though he couldn't muster the proper guilt he knew it was his fault. Mello needed his help and he knew only one thing would snap him from his depression.


End file.
